Akatsuki: Reading Chaos
by Shadow Priesstes
Summary: The Akas are all bored till Tobi finds an interesting book...The ones who loved "Babystting Chaos" then you will love this one to...
1. What is this

A/N: Well because I have to much fun doing this in the Harry Potter section and I saw some Authors doing this there and because I really love Akatsuki even more that now Hidan and Kakuzu also appeared in Shippuden and most of all because you guys loved this fic so much, really this is my most reviewed fic so I will let our Akas rest and read…

I. What is this, _A strange jutsu _

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It was a warm April day, the sun was shining with no clouds on the azure blue sky, the birds were singing happily, yes it was a peaceful day to have free for a month mostly if you are member in a secret organization of S-ranked Nuke-nin. There was only one problem with the day without any missions were now nine assassins bored as Hell expect for they tenth member a certain young man or child no one knew because of the orange mask he always wore.

"Senpai, Senpai Tobi want to lay something." The masked-nin whined while jumping around an irritated looking blond man.

"Do I look as if I care what you want to do un? Go and bother Zetsu he is the only one who likes to put up with you." The blond snapped as he turned back to his clay.

"Hai!" and with that was Tobi already on his way to find the plant like cannibal.

Looking through the whole house and being chased for one hour by an angered and cursing Hidan whose ritual he accidentally walked in, though Tobi's murdering was stopped by Kakuzu who grabbed his partner by the neck and yelled at him for soiling the expensive carpet with his blood, then Tobi finally found the man he was looking for in the garden.

"Zetsu-san!" Tobi yelled cheerfully as he run up to the other male.

"Hello Tobi, **what is it?**" both sides asked.

"Tobi would like to ask Zetsu-san if he would play with Tobi." The shorter asked.

"**If you already ask…**no, I didn't mean your request Tobi, but his idea well what about I reed you something?" Zetsu's white half asked smiling.

"YAY! Tobi is picking a story." And with that he was already of.

"**You are a spoil sports…**and you a pervert."

"Zetsu-san look what I have found." Tobi said after he come back with a black book in his hand.

"Let me see eh…**WHAT THE HELL!" **Zetsu stared wide eyed at the book. "Uhm…Tobi where did you find this?"

"On the third bookshelf in the library." Tobi answered a bit confused.

"Ok we will read the book, but first **we should get the others." **

And so sat soon the whole Akatsuki organization in the big living room, most members looking annoyed, the others still bored.

"Okey, Zetsu why are we all sitting here?" Pein asked.

"Because of the book Tobi found **and before you go ballistic look at the title."** At this every member looked down at the book they eyes widening as they read the title; "_**Akatsuki: Babysitting Chaos"**_

"This is only a joke right?" Hidan asked.

"I can't remember seeing this book and I was one of the three members who made that library." Itachi said while Sasori and Konan nodded.

"Well then we can only do one thing read it." Pain said and the others nodded.

"Who will start?" Konan asked.

"Ladies first so that leaves only Konan and Blondie." Hidan said grinning.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY UN!" Deidara growled and was ready to launch himself at the grinning priest.

"Stop fighting." Pain growled. "Konan please start reading."

"Ok the first chapter is the Prologue, but it has also a side title." She said. "_**A strange jutsu**__"_

"What the heck could be strange on a jutsu, they all are like that."

"Hidan shut up."

_**The door to the Akatsuki headquarters flew open with a heap and ten people walked inside, well not everyone was walking some of them were needing the help of the ones on they side or were carried inside.**_

"Great sounds like a battle where we got flatted."

"Hidan…" yelled the whole group.

"_**How the fuck could that drenched woman manage to GET US ALL OUT!!"**_

"Great the story only started and immediately has Hidan the word…" Kakuzu groaned while Hidan flashed him a grin.

"Ah, Hidan I wouldn't be grinning if I were you." Konan said in an amused tone after reading a bit ahead.

_**Hidan was frustrated and feeling rather embarrassed because he had a 'little accident' in his fight against a five ANBU members and was now carried by his partner Kakuzu because he himself was in pieces.**_

Everyone started snickering while Hidan stared open mouthed at the book, but then Konan broke out in a full laughter.

"Konan you know that this isn't so amusing?" Pain asked the still laughing woman.

"So…sorry Pain…" she said catching her breath before starting to read again.

"_**Even I have under estiminated the power of one of the legendary San-nin." The Leader groaned as he was helped inside by Konan who looked at him with the mix of worry and amusement. Pain may be injured physically, but his pride was more injured because Tsunade send him with a rather hard kick on a rather high flight in front of all the Akatsuki and the Kyuubi-boy and co.**_

There was a deep silence in the room before the whole group expect said Leader broke out in a hysterical laughter.

"Th…this is f…fucking priceless…" Hidan managed to get out while rolling on the floor.

"I…I agree…" Kisame said.

"Would you all forget that already so that we can continue?" Pain growled his face crimson from embracement.

_**Let's just say, everyone had a little problem in staying unfazed by seeing this scene. In other words everyone was rolling on the ground from laughing and even the two Uchihas were laughing at the scene.**_

"_**And what was that strange jutsu she used on us?" Kakuzu asked.**_

"_**What strange jutsu un?" Deidara asked confused as he put Sasori in a chair who cursed under his breath and mumbled something about '**__**needing to fix myself again'**__**.**_

"_**Oh right at that time when she used it against us were you with Itachi three streets away and fighting Itachi's little brother and that Hyuuga boy." Hidan said as Kakuzu begun to stitch him together again.**_

"_**Well, it didn't do anything, let's get our injuries cleaned and then rest." Kisame suggested and everyone nodded in agreement.**_

"It is rather unusual fo a jutsu from a Sannin to not work." Sasori commented.

"_**That would be great au…hey be a little bit more careful Kakuzu that hurt…"**_

"_**Then stop moving your head around or should Zetsu stitch you together?" he asked while grinning under his mask as he watched his partner pale and stare over at said plant-like man who perked immediately up by the idea.**_

"_**Uhm…I like it more when you do it…" Hidan said nervously.**_

"To bad." Both sides of Zetsu replied and Hidan scooted nearer to his partner.

"_**Then keep quiet." Kakuzu said and Hidan let out a sigh of relief as Zetsu turned his attention back again to Tobi's injured arm. How the boy could allow the cannibal to mend his wounds was beyond him, with this he could already sit on a silver tablet with one apple in his mouth.**_

"Why would Tobi do that Hidan-san?" Tobi asked confused.

"Ugh…I will explain it later…" the priest groaned.

"_**There, **__**every**__thing is ready__**." Zetsu said suddenly.**_

"_**Thank you Zetsu-san." Tobi said delighted and hugged Zetsu who blushed a bit while the others only stared at them gapping.**_

Everyone was staring at the now blushing Zetsu, Tobi didn't notice.

"_**Uhm…I don' even want to know…" Hidan pointed out and everyone nodded in agreement.**_

_**So after everyone took care of each others injuries and Hidan was stitched together again everyone went in they rooms to get some sleep after they failed mission, not knowing what will await them in the morning.**_

"I don't like the sound of this." Kisame commented.

_**On the next morning… **_

_**Deidara sat up in his bed yawning loudly. After getting a nice warm shower and getting dressed he noticed that no one was up. After staring for a while at the empty kitchen he decided to go and wake the others up, first on his list was of course Sasori.**_

"How great…" Sasori said groaning.

_**Deidara slowly sneaked inside the Puppet Master's room and up to said redhead's bed.**_

"_**Sasori no Dana…" he whispered to the puddle under the red cowers, but nothing. "Come Dana, you are usually the one who comes to wake me up." The blond said and pulled the cowers away, but a he did that his face pled and immediately run out of the room.**_

At this everyone turned in Sasori's direction, giving him strange looks.

"Just what the fuck did you do under the cowers to make Blondie run away?" Hidan asked.

"How should I know?" Sasori snapped.

_**Itachi was sleeping peacefully in his bed as suddenly something or someone jumped on it ripping him out of his sleep and ducking under his cowers. **_

"_**Ugh…Sasuke, how many times did I already tell yo…"Itachi suddenly stopped with in mid sentence **_

"Nice that you remembered tht your brother hates you." Itachi only growled.

_**as the memory of the little fact that he had killed his whole family and his little brother would more likely make out, and wear a similar green jumpsuit as the jackass who fought Kisame **_

A collective "ewww" could be heard from the whole Akatsuki.

_**then jump on his bed while he was still in it and crawl under the cowers. He let out a frustrated sigh. "Kisame if this is again about your nightmare to be put in a gigantic sushi on a seafood plate then I give you tree seconds to get out of my bed before I myself make sushi out of you."**_

"Ookayy…"

"You shouldn't even dare to say a word Hidan becouse I know where you sleep by big storms." Itachi said dangerously and Hidan imediately shup up.

_**He growled, but nothing so Itachi pulled the cowers away only to notice that the puddle greeting him wasn't black nor blue, but blond? "Deidara, what do you think you are doing here in my bed...?" he asked annoyed, but was startled as the blond suddenly pounced at him and hugging him.**_

"GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!" both Deidara and Itachi screamed.

_**Itachi-san I'm so happy…" he said smiling and the Uchiha tried to get the other male of off him, but he was stronger then he looked like.**_

"_**Deidara…" he hissed. "What the Hell got in to you?", but the blond didn't answer, an stead he grabbed the others hand and dragged him out of the room only in his boxers**_

"That was an information I didn't need." Hidan said.

_**in the neighbor room which belonged to Kisame. "What are we doing here?" he asked annoyed.**_

"_**Kisame…" he said.**_

"_**I know that this is Kisame's room you idi…" but Deidara grabbed his head and turned it to the bed and pulled the cowers away. Itachi felt his jaw drop and the color leaving his face as **_

"AS WHAT!?" the whole group asked as Konan suddenly stopped reading.

"Awww, kawaii…" she coed, making the boys stare at her strangely.

_**he was now staring at his three years old partner who was blissfully sleeping and sucking at his thumb while holding a plush hark tightly.**_

"WHAT!" everyone broke out expect the still smiling Konan and the now furiously blushing Kisame.

"_**Ki…Kisame…" Itachi stammered shocked.**_

"_**And he is not the only one un…" Deidara said and Itachi looked at him vide eyed.**_

"_**What do you mean 'not the only one'?"**_

"_**I mean that everyone Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetsu, even Leader-sama, everyone got turned in to little children." Deidara said while waving with his arms, but stopped when Itachi grabbed his hand and dragged him down to the living room where he left him for the time being while he got dressed, then returned.**_

"_**This whole situation could be the effect of that jutsu the others were talking about." Itachi said while massaging his forehead.**_

"_**Yes, we were the only ones who were not there." Deidara said while sitting on the couch Indian stile.**_

"Wait a minute that means that we are all three years olds and the only ones still normal will be the Uchiha and Deidara?" Kakuzu asked.

"We are doomed." Hidan groaned.

"Hey!"

"Aww…" Konan coed again and most of the boys looked nervous.

"_**Yes, I need to research that jutsu." Itachi said but then he suddenly felt someone tugging on his pants. The Uchiha stared down to see two pair of violet and green eyes stare up at him.**_

"Oh no…" both zombies stated while paling they were the only ones in the group with those eye colors so that meant…

"_**We re hungy dada." Said little Hidan and Itachi paled while Deidara threw himself back on the couch while laughing.**_

Nearly everyone expect Hidan and said Uchiha broke out laughing.

"_**Urgh…" was the only thing the Uchiha managed to say.**_

"_**Come you two I will make you something." Deidara said and the two boys smiled happily and walked in the kitchen still holding each others hand. "And you were the one with a little brother." Deidara said smiling as he walked in to the kitchen leaving a glaring Itachi behind.**_

"So this chapter is over, Pain you are reading next." Konan said smiling as she handed her partner the book.

_To be continued… _

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A/N: so what do you think?


	2. How embarassing

A/N: so here comes the second chapter with increasing chaos as the group reads further…

II. How embarrassing, _Who said parenthood was joy again?_

* * *

Pain took the book from his partner and looked down at the next title, sighing.

"Hmm…?" the whole group looked at him.

"The title is already promising…" Pain said sighing.

"What is it?" Kisame asked.

"_**Who said parenthood was joy again?**_" Pain said sighing again. _"Now that is really promising and seeing who will take care about us…"_

"We agree the title doesn't sound to promising."

"Considering that we are the children I will say that we will be rather stressing." Sasori said, he knew how he was a child, but he didn't know how the others were in that age.

"True, but now should we start reading." Konan said smiling.

_**After a while walked Itachi also in the kitchen where Deidara was humming a little song while making a five marmalade breads by the counter. Meanwhile were Hidan and Kakuzu sitting by the kitchen table and munching happily on they snack.**_

"Ugh…." Kakuzu stated while Hidan blushed.

"Now that must be an interesting sight." Kisame said grinning while looking at the duo.

"Shut up, at least we aren't sleeping with a freaking plush shark." Hidan snapped.

"_**The others are still sleeping." Itachi said as he was about to fix himself some tea as suddenly a cup with hot steaming tea was held out in front of him.**_

"_**I made you some tea for you un." **_

"Aww…doesn't this remind you on a cute family moment?" Hidan asked before a clay spider exploded in his face.

_**He said and Itachi took it, still looking confused."Don't give me that look, you were born as the golden son of your clan, the perfect first born son, but if you are born in a normal family and as a freak that I'm, then there is no one who is interested in that if you are hungry or afraid or cold. I needed to take care of myself since I was two so I know how to handle kids." Deidara said as he placed more bread on the table.**_

_**Itachi wanted to give a response, but was almost overrun by the rest of they 'in-to-child-turned' colleges.**_

"Looks like we are all there now." Sasori said.

_**The breakfast went on rather smoothly that is until little Hidan decided to throw a bread at Kisame and hit him full force in the face, that emerged the blue child to try and pay the other back, but missed and hit Konan instead and slowly all this emerged in a rather messy food war.**_

"Great, nothing will change then." Pain said sighing.

"_**And what now?" Itachi asked as he dodged again.**_

"_**Uhm…children stop this instant." Eight pairs of eyes turned to the two adults.**_

Everyone stared shocked at the book and then at the confused blond.

"Erm…Deidara, how…how did you manage to stop the whole group so quick…" Pain said in a bewildered tone, he never managed to get them all to behave like this without yelling or threatening.

"Uhm…I don't know un…"

"Please tell me how…" Pain said to the book making everyone stare at him confused.

"_**So little ones who wants to go up the stairs with dada Itachi and have a nice bubble bath hmm?" the blond asked smiling and Itachi's eyes widened.**_

"_**Hold on, I will definitely not bath them." Itachi growled, but that didn't faze Deidara.**_

"WE ALSO DON'T WANT THIS!" screamed everyone expect Konan and Deidara.

"_**Bath them or clean the kitchen, your choice…" he said while looking at the Uchiha.**_

"_**Arg…fine come you…" and with that he left, the eight children following behind him.**_

"Wow, congratulations Deidara." Kisame said in an awed tone, not many people could bring the Uchiha to do what they want so easily.

_**Deidara noticed that before they left that Hidan grabbed Kakuzu's hand**_

"WHAT!!" screamed both men.

"Aww…we always thought that you fight like an old married couple and now you are even showing that you like each other." Kisame said grinning as he dodged Hidan's scythe and Kakuzu's threads.

After everyone calmed down Pain started reading again.

_**and begun to pull him with him, he needed to smile at that, the two will freak if they hear that. **_

"They already did." Everyone said in union.

_**He was about to start with the cleaning as he suddenly felt something clinging to his leg. **_

Pain started grinning and looked at Sasori.

"What?" the redhead snapped.

"Never knew that you could be so adorable Sasori." Pain said grinning.

_**The artist looked down confused only to find a crest of messy red hair.**_

"_**Dana, why are you not with the others?" he asked while looking down at the redhead who looked up at him pleadingly.**_

"Awww…" Konan, Tobi and Deidara coed while the boys broke out laughing expect a blushing Sasori.

"STOP LAUGHING!" Sasori yelled in embarrassment. '_This__can't__ be happening…' _he thought.

_**Suddenly the kitchen door opened again and Itachi stamped inside marmalade handprints on his face and clothes and was blushing like hell.**_

Everyone started snickering, but Pain was starting to blush like Hell.

"Erm…can we skip this part?" he asked sounding nervous.

"No, Tobi would like to hear the whole story."

"I agree with Tobi." Konan said.

"Fine…" Pain said sighing.

"_**Itachi-san what happened?" Deidara asked because usually nothing could make the Uchiha blush.**_

"_**I was smeared full from them while I chased the whole group through the bathroom to get them undressed and then I needed to explain why Konan is missing something." He said.**_

At that everyone went bet red and Itachi felt himself near fainting.

"_**What do you me…oh…" at that Deidara also blushed.**_

"_**And after this I needed to count them and well I had seven terrors instead of eight." He said as he tried to get Sasori who hid behind Deidara.**_

"_**Uhm…Itachi-san I will give Dana a bath after I'm finished." He said, but then suddenly begun to blush.**_

Pain's blush suddenly deepened, he couldn't read this.

"Pain read." Konan said.

"But Konan…." He whined.

"Give it here." She said as she grabbed the book and started giggling.

"_**Alright, eh what is?" he asked and turned around to look at what the blond was pointing at and he smacked his forehead. "Damn Kakuzu's freaking tentacles…" he said as he begun to chase after they leader who was now running around giggling nude and soapy.**_

Every male broke out laughing at thes whila Pain buried his face in his hands before Konan placed the book again in his lap.

"_**Well, they have fun, don't you think Dana un?" Deidara said as he picked the child up only to feel something sticky fall on his head. Looking up his jaw dropped. "How the heck did you get some of the bread stuck to the ceiling?"**_

"I hope for everyone that there will be no prints left or you are done for…" Kakuzu growled.

_**After one hour of cleaning was in the kitchen no more sign of the marmalade war and Deidara was walking in the bath's direction. He was about to open the door when it was suddenly opened and he stood face to face with a very annoyed looking and most of all dripping wet Uchiha Itachi. **_

"_**Ita…" but the blackhead held his hand up.**_

"_**The pests are cleaned and in towels you need to go shopping for them and don't even dare to ask what happened." He said as he stamped past him, the children following after him smiling in they towels.**_

_**Deidara shrugged and was about to enter the bathroom as he heard noises from downstairs.**_

Pain's jaw dropped suddenly as his blush become the same color as the Sharingan.

"What is wrong now?" both of Zetsu's sides asked.

"I…I do…don't think I should read this…" he said.

"Just read it already." Hidan snapped.

"Ugh…"

"_**Pain-kun can I touch that?"**__** asked little Konan's innocent voice.**_

"_**Yes."**__** Then he suddenly heard the crashing noise of a mug shatteing on the ground and someone dart out of the kitchen.**_

"_**No she can't touch that!**__**" he heard Itachi growl.**_

"_**Bu dada Itami you said she doesn't hame one so why can't she toch mine?"**_

"_**Because you are to young!"**__** at that Deidara blushed, he could never look at the Leader in the same way again.**_

"You are not the only one." Nearly everyone screamed while both Pain and Konan were blushing and Zetsu had still Tobi's ears cowered.

_**After a while were both sitting in the big bathtub, **_

At that most members started grinning while Sasori and Deidara went re din the face.

_**Kakuzu had three heart attacks when he saw it.**_

"If it is that one on the third floor then you are wrong." Kakuzu stated.

"Really?" everyone asked shocked.

"I had five damned heart attacks per heart…" he said.

"Aha…" come it from everyone.

"Well then le tus con…" Pain suddenly stopped in his sentence as he read further and looked at both Itachi and Deidara with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" both asked.

"Really you two setle your priorities finally…" he said.

"Eh…"

_**The hot water felt wonderful against his skin as he watched Sasori play with the bubbles. After a while Deidara stood up to grab they towels as suddenly the door opened and Itachi walked inside. **_

"_**Itachi, you hentai!" the blond growled blushing as he sat immediately down again and sunk in the water so that only his head was out.**_

"Great timing…"

"That are informations I really don't need to know Itachi." Pain said and Zetsu imediately cowered Tobi's ears.

"_**Don't act like that you have nothing what I haven't seen in my live, well except that you have a fourth mouth and with your hair down you really look like a woman and what a surprise you are a full blond."**_

"We also don't need to know!" the other boys said in union expect Deidara who had his face burried in a pillow.

'_This is so __embarrassing un…'_Deidara's mind whined.

_**The Uchiha said grinning, but was suddenly growling in pain as he was hit full force in the face with shampoo.**_

"_**Dana that wasn't nice." Deidara said to the little boy as he wrapped a towel around his waist and hurried to Itachi's side to help him to wash the shampoo out of his eyes so he failed to notice the glare send at the Uchiha from a little red haired boy.**_

_**After everything was alright again Deidara was about to leave as Itachi stepped out of the living room.**_

"_**I'm going with you." He said.**_

"_**We can't let eight children alone un." He said and walked up to the door, Itachi was about to stop him as he suddenly flew face first to the ground. Groaning he looked behind himself to see Tobi clinging to his leg.**_

"_**Oh great…" he growled as he heard the door shut.**_

_**In Konoha… **_

_**Deidara took the form of a beautiful young woman with long blond hair and crystal blue eyes.**_

"That jutsu of the Kyuubi-boy can be handy."

_**She had almost everything and needed to only get now some toys.**_

"_**May, may you have buyd many things dear." Said one elderly sales woman.**_

"_**Yes, some of my friends needed to go on a mission and so they left they kids for a while in my care." Deidara said.**_

"Nice lye."

"Thanks un."

"_**Yes, it is hard to be a sinobi and in the same time be there for your children." She said.**_

"_**Yes it is." the blond said.**_

_**Back in the HQ… **_

_**Deidara walked inside with the bags, but soon dropped them. Something was not right it was quiet,**_

"DIVA MURDERED US!" Hidan screamed, but didn't dare to look at the Uchiha having no intent to be stuck in Tsukiyomi.

"Really funny Hidan." Kisame said as he wacked the priest whith Shameshada over the head.

"Hey!" Hidan screamed.

"Shut up and let m eget over the last part." Pain snapped.

_**to quiet for a house in which eight little children were. The blond immediately begun to look around for any sign what could have happened, but after entering the living room he needed to suppress a laugh.**_

_**There stood everyone each holding a carrion and were drawing happily in Itachi's face, who was sleeping. The Sharingan user will probably freak after he wakes up and looks in the mirror…**_

_**to quiet for a house in which eight little children were. The blond immediately begun to look around for any sign what could have happened, but after entering the living room he needed to suppress a laugh.**_

_**There stood everyone each holding a carrion and were drawing happily in Itachi's face, who was sleeping. The Sharingan user will probably freak after he wakes up and looks in the mirror…**_

Itachi started growling as Pain handed the book to Kakuzu.

"You are next." He said.

_To be continued…_


	3. Tobi reads

A/N: So guys here comes a new chapter from me to the fic…

P.S.: I'm in a rather good mode because our beloved zombies finally made they appearance in Shippuden…

III. Tobi reads, _Fluffy time _

* * *

Kakuzu stared down at the next title and groaned.

"Why can't Tobi read this chapter?" he asked annoyed.

"Some parts of this story a**re not to suitable for Tobi.**" Zetsu answered.

"I don't think the title _**Fluffy time**_ would have to many "dangerous" things in it." Kakuzu answered.

"Yay! Tobi wants to read that chapter!" Tobi squalled and grabbed the book.

"Well then Tobi reads this chapter and then you Kakuzu." Pain said and the banker nodded.

"Tobi you can begin." Konan said softly.

_**Itachi was peacefully sleeping on the couch as something or to put it better someone jumped full force on his stomach.**_

"Sasuke used to wake me like that." Itachi said remembering his childhood.

_**Well we all know that, that something like this only leads to pain thanks to the one who jumped on us, we get a shock then we don't know what happened and more pain then we crash from the couch. Slowly he opened his eyes and glared with his Sharingan eyes at his soon to be sushi partner who sat between his legs which were still on the couch and was clapping happily his little blue hands.**_

"Uhm… gomen Itachi-san…" Kisame said to his partner hurriedly.

"_**Kisame you are so dead now…" he hissed and was about to launch himself at the child when a foot collided with his chest, pushing him down.**_

"Senpai is a good mommy." Tobi said happily.

"I'M NOT A MOTHER!"

"_**What do you think you are doing Uchiha Itachi…" growled the blond darkly and his visible eye was glowing dangerously while he had Konan in his arms, who clonged frightened to his shirt.**_

"_**Ugh…get your foot from my chest…" he said, but still needed to admit that the blond had one hell of a glare.**_

"_**Dare to hurt one of them and you will wish that your little brother would come here and kill you..." Deidara hissed and after picking Kisame up walked out of the living room.**_

"See, Senpai is a good mommy." Tobi said and most of the others nodded, who could have guessed that the blonde had such maternal instints.

_**Itachi slowly got up from the ground while growling something about**_

"That is not nice of you Itachi-san." Tobi said scolding.

_**damned idiotic blonds and they freaking mother instincts' **__**and was already on his way to his room as he passed a mirror and suddenly stopped death in his tracks **__**Deidara was calmly leaning at the counter and drinking his tea while the chibi Akatsuki all sat at the table and were drawing happily. **_

_**THOSE LITTLE BEASTS!! **_

_**Deidara nearly choked on his drink and looked at the kitchen door which busts open and a rather angry looking Uchiha stormed inside.**_

"_**You little da…" but suddenly stood Deidara in front of him.**_

"_**What did I tell you about the children." He said.**_

"_**Do you see what they did to my face?"**_

"We would like to know what we had drawn." Said everyone in union while Itachi growled.

"_**Yes, but they are little and don't know what they do." The blond said and turned to the children. "So everyone sleeping time." And with Itachi's unwanted help got the children in a newly decorated play and sleeping room.**_

_**After telling like four stories to the children and reading Hidan some parts of his Bible,**_

"There are some rather nice child stories int here." Hidan said fondly.

_**which lead to some shuddering and gapping from the two adults,**_

"If Itachi and Deidara reac so to those storyes we really don't need to know what stands in there?" Kakuzu asked his partner.

_**was everyone peacefully asleep, then Deidara stood up and dragged Itachi out of the room and in the bathroom where he made him sit down on the down clapped toilet seat and wetted a cloth.**_

"_**You know that for a person who has a five years younger brother you are not all to good with kids un." Said Deidara as he kneeled in front of Itachi and begun to whip away the pink flowers from his checks.**_

"_**Well, compared to our Leader and colleges was Sasuke a little angel." Itachi growled.**_

"Arigato!" the whole Akatsuki said smiling, but imediately went silent when Tobi quelled in delight and Zetsu was holding back his laughter after leaning over the other's shoulder and reading the next part.

"…"

"_**Ok, I understand, but try to be a little bit nicer to them until we find out how we can make them normal again un." The blond said as he put a hand on Itachi's leg and pushed his body closer so that he could clean the rest of the others face.**_

_**Itachi gasped at this and first he didn't even know how to react, since his little brother he didn't allow anyone to get so close to him physically. A strange feeling begun to spread through his body as he watched the blonde's face only inches from his, he only needs o dip his head and they lips would met. To be honest, Itachi felt surprised at the fact that the blond Bomb Artist could act so caring around children. Shivers run through his body and without him knowing his right hand wrapped around Dei's wrist which was still on his leg startling the blond as his other hand found his way to his check.**_

"_**Ita…hmpf…" suddenly two lips cowered his in a soft kiss. Deidara let out a gasp which allowed the Uchiha to slip his tongue in the artist's hot cavern. Deidara tried to pull away, but his body didn't want to cooperate with his mind, but he didn't even to then suddenly Itachi's eyes widened in shock and pulled away, both panting and blushing.**_

"…" both Deidara and Itachi were death silent while Konan was in her dreamy mode, two partners gapping at the book, Kakuzu was already counting how much money he will earn tanks to the two males, the others were laughing.

_**Suddenly they heard the bathroom door opening and they heads immediately turned to the door where they spotted Konan and Tobi standing there, the first on holding a blue blanket in her little hands the later one was holding a white teddy bear.**_

"_**Wa are you doim?" asked little Tobi and both adults blushed even more.**_

"_**Uhm…well…" Deidara was at loss of words.**_

"_**You know this is something people do when they want to show a person that they like him." Itachi said suddenly and Konan begun smiling at that, Deidara on the other hand looked startled at him.**_

"This is a really cute explaining Itachi." Konan said smiling.

"_**Ye…yes…." the blond nodded and then looked confused at the two children. "How come you are up?" at that both run over to then and hugged Deidara.**_

"_**Hi-kun's goodnight stomy was scamy" said Tobi whimpering.**_

"_**I think I can agree with Tobi on this one." Itachi said as he picked Konan up in his arms, Deidara sonly followed with Tobi.**_

"_**And what now?"**_

"_**We could let them watch a video." Itachi suggested.**_

"_**Have we even something suited for little children?"**_

At that every Akatsuki member looked at Tobi.

"_**Yes." At that Deidara looked wide eyed at him.**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**Kisame has some children videos hidden in his room." The Uchiha said as he begun to walk out of the bathroom in the direction of his partner's room.**_

The whole group turned in the blushing shark's direction.

"By Tobi, it is not a surprise, but by you?" Pain asked.

"Ugh…I don't have such videos." Kisame said protesting.

"_**Why does Kisame have all this videos?"**_

"I/we would also like to know."

_**Deidara asked while he was looking at a tape with the 'My Little Pony' cover on it and at the other with the title 'Vuk'.**_

"Tobi likes those." The masked nin said as he started humming the title melody of My Little Pony.

"Tobi stop humming and continue."

"Hai."

"_**His psychiatrist suggested this to him after we had that mission on that fish factory; I told the Leader that it was a bad idea to send us both there, but he didn't listen and I needed to carrie Kisame back after the mission, he was totally traumatized."**_

"The Goldfish in a fish factory really brilliant idea." Hidan muttered.

"I need to agree with Hidan." Said most of the members shuddering that they were agreing with the zaelot.

"Leader-sama was a bad boy."

"Ugh…sorry…"

"_**Oh, the poor guy un."**_

"_**Yes, he has those sushi nightmares since that day." Itachi said as he suddenly felt someone tugging carefully on his pants. Looking down he saw Konan looking up at him, a video in her little hand. "Would you like to watch this?" he asked and she nodded. "Ok then we will watch this."**_

"_**What did she pick?" Deidara asked as he picked Tobi up.**_

"_**Uhm…the title is Mulan."**_

"_**Hmm…what is it about?" the blond asked.**_

"_**A young girl dresses herself as a man because she doesn't want that her old father goes in to the war." Itachi explained.**_

"That really souns interesting." Pain commented and the others were also interested.

"Sounds interesting."

_**After a while were all four seated on the couch and watching the video. Soon the music begun to play again a bit louder, signaling the start of a new song.**_

"TOBI READ, DON'T SING!" everyone yelled.

_**Let's get down to business  
To defeat the Huns  
Did they send me daughters  
When I asked for sons?  
You're the saddest bunch  
I ever met  
But you can bet  
Before we're through  
Mister, I'll make a man  
out of you **_

"_**That reminds me in some way on that day on which Leader-same asked us if we are girls or men." Deidara said as he sat beside Itachi, Tobi on his other side.**_

"_**Yes, after we got out of there Hidan couldn't shut up his bitching until Kakuzu didn't grab him and sew his mouth shut."**_

"I remember you asking us this last month." Kisame said.

"Why is itt hat YOU ALWAYS SHAVE MY FUCKING MOUTH SHUT YOU FUCKING MONEY WHORE!" Hidan screamed till Kakuzu shaved his mouth shut.

"I will remove the threads after the next chapter." Kakuzu said while Hidan tried to rip the thread out, but to no vail.

_**Tranquil as a forest  
But on fire within  
Once you find your center  
you are sure to win  
You're a spineless, pale  
pathetic lot  
And you haven't got a clue  
Somehow I'll make a man  
out of you**_

_**I'm never gonna catch  
my breath  
Say good-bye to those  
who knew me  
Boy, was I a fool in school  
for cutting gym  
This guy's got 'em  
scared to death  
Hope he doesn't see  
right through me  
Now I really wish that I  
knew how to swim**_

"_**This story isn't even bad." Itachi admitted.**_

"_**Yes I think I will ask Kisame if he allows me to copy it, wow I loved that explosion un."**_

"_**You and your obsession for explosions." the Uchiha said as he leaned back in the couch while crossing his arms and legs.**_

"_**I like art." Deidara said as he returned his gaze to the TV screen."**_

_**Be a man  
We must be swift as  
the coursing river  
Be a man  
With all the force  
of a great typhoon  
Be a man  
With all the strength  
of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the  
dark side of the moon**_

_**Time is racing toward us  
till the Huns arrive  
Heed my every order  
and you might survive  
You're unsuited for  
the rage of war  
So pack up, go home  
you're through  
How could I make a man  
out of you?**_

_**Be a man  
We must be swift as  
the coursing river  
Be a man**_

_**With all the force  
of a great typhoon  
Be a man  
With all the strength  
of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the  
dark side of the moon**_

_**While the two children were still watching the film excited both adults begun to feel rather sleepy as the song neared to his final part.**_

_**Be a man  
We must be swift as  
the Coursing river  
Be a man  
With all the force  
of a great typhoon  
Be a man  
With all the strength  
of a raging fire  
Mysterious as the  
dark side of the moon… **_

_**As the song ended Tobi begun to clap happily, but a soft 'psss' from Konan made him turn in the little girls direction. She was dear while pointing up at Itachi and Deidara who were sleeping. Tobi nodded in understatement and sop both turned they attention back to the film, watching it silently.**_

_**Itachi slowly woke up on the couch. He was about stand up as suddenly Deidara walked inside holding Kisame and holding the boy in front of the confused Uchiha**_

Tobi started giggling and then turned to Kisame.

"What?" he asked. '_I have a bad feeling about this.'_

"_**Deidara wha…" he suddenly pinched his nose. "Ugh…"**_

"_**The dippers are under the changing table." The blond said.**_

At that Kisame paled and burried his face in to the pillow he grabbed from the couch, the others were trying no to laugh while Itachi was gapping.

"_**Why do I need to change his dippers?" the Uchiha asked as the wiggling, blue child was showed in his arms.**_

"_**Because he is your partner un." he said as he begun to walk out in the garden.**_

_**He only stepped out of the door as suddenly a laud cream could be heard.**_

_**DEAR KAMI SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME NOW!! **_

Now broke most of the males out laughing while Kisame still hid his face int he pillow, Hidan meanwhile tried to get the thread out, he was daying to comment on this.

_**Somewhere in Konoha was a young black haired man sneezing. **_

"_**Nani, is something wrong Sasuke-kun?" a pink haired girl asked.**_

"_**I'm alright Sakura." He said.**_

"_**Hey Teme, Sakura-chan come already!" yelled suddenly an energetic blond man.**_

"_**Naruto don't yell around." Sakura said.**_

_**Back by the Akatsuki was Deidara outside in the garden by the children. He was walking around as he suddenly spotted Pain laying with his back against a gigantic tree, Konan snuggled up in his arms. **_

At that Pain stopped laughing and and stared blushing at the book.

"_**Who would have known that Leader-sama can be nice to un." Deidara said as he passed the two sleeping children.**_

"I can be nice." Pain said protesting.

"Awww…" Tobi said suddenly earning everyones interest.

_**After a while he also spotted Kakuzu and Hidan sitting in the middle of a see of white flowers.**_

Silence.

"_**Wow even after turning in to children and loosing the memory about the things which happened everyone is still clinging to they partners, even those two." Deidara said as suddenly his eyes widened and his jaw fell.**_

"_**I'm ready…and can never look at Kisame in the same way again as before…" Itachi whined, but was soon grabbed by a shocked looking blond artist. "Deidara what is…" but then he suddenly understood what got in the other.**_

_**Hidan was holding a carefully plucked white flower out to Kakuzu and gave the other a kiss on the check who blushed at this while some of his black tentacles begun to play with the other's hair.**_

"WHAT!" nearly everyone screamed while both immortals stared at each other in horror a blush on they checks.

"Ugh…now that must have been a scene." Kisame shivered after getting over the biggest embarrassment of his live, mainly getting his dippers changed by his partner.

"_**Ugh…lets pretend we didn't see this…" said Deidara.**_

"We agree." The group said, Hidan could only nod because he was still to shocked and his mouth was also shaved shut.

"_**I agree…" and with that both begun to slowly sneak away.**_

"_**That was frightening…"**_

"_**Let's be happy that they don't do that as adults." At that mental image both shuddered.**_

Everyone nodded furiously.

"_**Where are the other kids?"**_

"_**I think I saw Kisame run up to Sasori with a ball in his hands, Kakuzu and Hidan we just saw a minute ago." Itachi said.**_

"_**Leader-sama and Konan-chan are sleeping under that tree."**_

"_**So that means that we are only missing Tobi and…" Itachi suddenly paled and looked at Deidara.**_

"_**ZETSU!!" both yelled in union and begun to run around looking for the two missing children.**_

_**After a five minutes saw Deidara Itachi standing in front of one other flowery spot, gapping like a fish.**_

"_**Itachi-san, what is wrong un?" he asked, but the Sharingan user only pointed in front of them.**_

Tobi suddenly started giggling which made Zetsu lean over his shoulder to see just what made the other so happy, reading the sentence both sides started blushing which made the others courious.

"Tobi, be a Good Boy and continue un." Deidara said grinning.

"Hai Senpai, Tobi is a Good Boy!" Tobi said happily while Kakuzu held Zetsu down with Kisame1s help, who tried to grab the book.

_**As the blond followed his finger with his gaze he nearly fainted. There between all the flowers sat Zetsu with Tobi from which the later one had his mask pulled up a little bit and had his lips on the others.**_

"Awww…" Konan coed while Tobi giggled as Zetsu blushed even more, the others ont he other hand were only staring at the book while Hidan tried desperately to comment.

"_**What the Hell…!" was the only thing Deidara said after returning from his shock.**_

"_**Well I think Tobi thought my explaining about that kiss, by which I must admit my mind had no knowing what my body did, really serious…" Itachi said.**_

"_**Uhm…we should go now." Deidara suggested and both adults begun to walk away again.**_

_**They were not far away from the back entrance when Itachi suddenly went with a rather high yelp to the ground. Deidara immediately looked down and winched.**_

"Sasori was a bad boy." Tobi said in a scolding tone and everyone was now looking from the confused redhead to the book.

"_**Ugh…that must hurt un. Dana now that WASN'T nice." The blond said to the grinning little red head, Kisame meanwhile was worriedly looking at his partner who was in pain.**_

"_**I…hate kids…" Itachi whined, but was ignored then Deidara was already lecturing Sasori about what we don't do with others.**_

Every male in the room flinched suddenly after realizing just WHAT happened.

"Tobi is ready." Tobi said happily as he handed the book to Kakuzu.

_To be continued…_


	4. Oh no

IV. Oh no, _Where__are__the__children_

* * *

Kakuzu looked down at the title of the next chapter still feeling strange about just what Tobi had read a few minutes ago. It is one thing that he is running around in this story as a three years old oh Kami how long ago had the been, but the most frightening part was that he was acting in his option AFECTIONATELY AROUND HIDAN! Kakuzu really hoped that this wouldn't get worse, but all his thoughts stopped when he read the title.

"Now that sounds nice…" he said grumpily.

"Hmm…?"

"The title is _**Where are the children"**_ he read.

"Oh…"

_**It was now the second day since the whole Akatsuki minus two members got turned in to children.**_

"And it was already SUCH an exciting day…" said Deidara sarcastically while still remembering that fact that A. Itachi saw him naked, B. the whole Akatsuki now REALLY thought that he was a female in mind, C. which was probably the most important thing ITACHI KISSED HIM! He is such a dead man now…

_**Deidara and Itachi were rather glad that they managed to live through it even if Itachi still had problems walking.**_

At threw said Uchiha one of his most vicious death glares at the redhead who tried for the first time in his live to hide behind his partner who was still fuming.

_**Deidara needed to chuckle a little bit as he was on his way to the Uchiha's room to wake him up then it was already ten. As he neared the room the memories of yesterday come back to him.**_

Kakuzu suddenly stopped and started grinning under his mask.

"Itachi I fear your embarrassing moments list will get a new point." He said amusedly.

_**Flashback **_

_**Uchiha Itachi was laying sprawled on the couch, teeth clenched and nails dug in the arm of the poor furniture as Deidara kneeled between his legs. **_

"GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER UN!" Deidara screamed while Itachi hung his head.

"_**Itachi-san stop acting like a child, it will do you good." The blond said. **_

"_**Do you know what would do me good…" **_

"_**Yeah and I will still not allow you to hurt him." Deidara said as he carefully placed a bag of ice on a certain part of the Sharingan user who let out a his. **_

"_**Sasori…when I finally found a way to get you all back to normal I swear you are firewood…" he said while glaring at the redhead who was glaring back at him. **_

_**End Flashback… **_

_**At that most Akatsuki members tried to hold back they snickers while Sasori started **__**wondering**__** is Hiroku's shield was strong enough to protect him from Itachi's Amaterasu attack. **_

_**Deidara carefully slipped in the Uchiha's room who was still sleeping. The blond stood on the side of the other man's bed and poked him. **_

"_**Itachi wake up."**_

_**No reaction.**_

"_**Itaaaaaaaccccchhhhiiii…" he whined, but the Uchiha only turned around to his other side.**_

_**Deidara looked at him annoyed then decided to use that what woke him up the last time. He jumped on the bed earning a shocked yelp from the black haired man and a glare with those cold Sharingan eyes.**_

"_**Did you lose your mind, or what was left from it?" Itachi asked annoyed as he glared at the grinning blond.**_

"_**Well you were the one who didn't want to wake up un." The blond said while still kneeling on the bed.**_

"_**Where are the brats by the way?" Itachi suddenly asked.**_

"_**I made them breakfast and then they all run outside to play something together."**_

"_**I see, how come that you always get to do the easier things and I the hard work?"**_

"_**Well I have luck and now come I made you breakfast to, and I'm getting hungry." The blond artist said as he stood up again.**_

Now was everyone staring at the blushing blond strangely.

"You know Deidara that you could have just eaten without going up the stars to wake me." Itachi stated to the blond while raising a brow.

"_**Deidara you know that you could have just eaten without coming up here to wake me?" Itachi said while raising a brow.**_

"…" the others snickered.

"_**Yeah uhm…, but I wanted to wait for you…and we uhm…need to talk…" the blond artist said blushing, his gaze on the floor.**_

"_**About what?" Itachi asked confused.**_

"_**Uhm…a…about why you kissed me yesterday…" Deidara said, his blush deepening.**_

"_**I will not lie to you Deidara; I don't know why I did it." He admitted.**_

"HOW IN KAMI'S NAME DON'T YOU KNOW WHY YOU KISSED HIM!" rounded both Pain and Konan on Itachi who stared at them wide eyed.

"Those two are scarry…" Kisame whispered to Zetsu who nodded while hilding both his hands on Tobi's ears.

"_**Ah…I see, thanks for being honest to me." The blond said smiling. "Now come I'm starving…" and with that he dragged Itachi out of the room.**_

"Aha now that explains the title…" Kakuzu said while glaring at the book.

"What do you mean?" Konan asked as both her and Pein sat back down.

"If you let me continue reading then you will know."

_**Meanwhile outside there were eight pair of confused chibi eyes staring up in to two golden ones. **_

"_**Erm…Kabuto, do you remember Sasori ever mentioning them having some sort of relationship or children plans?"**_

"Do we look like as if we could live in a normal relationship with kids?" asked the whole Akatsuki and Hidan only managed a five sounds.

_**asked a rather confused Orochimaru who was now playing a staring match with the children since a good twenty minutes.**_

"_**Uhm…not that I remember Orochimaru-sama…" said the also confused medic-nin.**_

"_**Well uhm…get the children, maybe I can use them for a trade, the kids for Itachi or Sasuke, or I could use one of them as my new body when they grow up." **_

"ONLY IN YOUR DREAMS SNAKE LOVER!"

"Not again…" Kakuzu suddenly groaned and the others stared now grinning at Hidan who was blushing again.

_**The snake like ninja said as he watched his right hand trying to pick the kids up, but it was not easy then some refused to let the other go and seemed rather protective. "Kabuto hurry up."**_

"_**Hai Orochimaru-sama." The young silver head said as he tried carefully to grab Hidan, but to be honest he didn't feel to thrilled as out of the boy's body, who was holding the little silver haired boy, suddenly black tentacles come forth and swished angrily.**_

_**After another twenty minutes Kabuto looked like he had been attacked by a bunch of rhinos.**_

"_**Uhm…Kabuto, do you feel alright?" Orochimaru asked while watching his medic with a raised brow, arms folded in front of his chest.**_

"_**Hai Orochimaru-sama." Orochimaru only nodded and then they all disappeared in a puff of smoke.**_

_**Deidara come ten minutes later outside to get the group for dinner, but he didn't find them.**_

"_**Itachi!!"**_

"_**Wha…what is wrong?" the Uchiha asked after he dashed out of the living room right to the panicked blonde's side.**_

"_**The others disappeared…"**_

"Ah a little time skip." Kakuzu stated.

_**The gigantic forest was peaceful, birds were singing happily in the trees, but the peace was brutally broken by loud explosions and angered screams. A gigantic clay owl flew through the sky with two person in black cloaks with red clouds on it were sitting on it's back. **_

"_**We already looked through whole Suna, but still nothing." Itachi said, as he sat behind Deidara.**_

"_**You tell me, I think if the Kazekage and his little minions hadn't had started acting like fish we would be dead by now…" the blond said as he shook some sand from his sleeve.**_

"Wow I knew that mother instints can be harsh, but now that is only frightening." Kisame said in awe.

_**Flashback **_

_**The sun shone brightly over Sunagakure, the people were going after they usual business enjoying the peace and security they Kazekage was giving them. **_

_**Said redhead was meanwhile sitting by the desk in his office reading reports. Suddenly the door bust open with a loud explosion startling the ninjas standing beside the desk, but they looked soon confused as a rather angry looking Akatsuki stamped inside. **_

"_**Where are they…." The intruder growled, the ninjas flinching in fear. **_

"_**What do you want here?" asked the Kazekage as he noticed the elder Uchiha peeking inside the room. **_

"_**I will ask you where are they…" growled the blond artist as he threw a bomb at one of the attacking suna jounin, but the attack was blocked by Gaara's sand. **_

_**And so the fight begun as suddenly a worried looking Kankuro and Temari run inside the office of they little brother. **_

"_**Gaara what is happening?" Temari asked. **_

"_**You will soon know…" but then Deidara's hand was suddenly grabbed by Itachi. **_

"_**Deidara stop now." He said and then turned to the Kage. "Where are the eight children who you took from us?" Itachi asked and suddenly everyone stared at then wide eyed. **_

"_**Uhm…did you just say 'children'? Kankuro asked while debating about if he should let his ears get checked. **_

"No he said chikens…" said Sasori sarcastically from behind Deidara.

"_**As he said where 'are the children'? If you dared to hurt even one of them then you will beg for death un…" Deidara growled as suddenly everyone's jaws fell from shock that they really heard the two Akatsuki members right. **_

_**End Flashback… **_

_**The duo was now on they way to Konoha, to look there for they missing colleagues, not knowing that three certain sand ninjas were already in Konoha and waiting for they friends to arrive in the office. **_

"_**You say that Itachi and Deidara broke in your office?" asked the blond woman staring shocked at the Kazekage.**_

"_**Well to say it better Deidara let the door explode and stormed inside as if gone mad." Gaara explained.**_

"I RESENT THAT UN!"

"_**What did my brother a…" suddenly the door exploded and Deidara stormed inside dragging the Uchiha with him.**_

"_**What in the na…" but Tsunade was interpreted by the blond artist.**_

"_**I. you turn the whole Akatsuki except us in to children, II. We don't know what kind of jutsu you used then we had absolutely no time for the research then we needed to take care of eight three years olds and III. NOW YOU DARE TO KIDNAP THEM!!" to say that everyone was startled by the blonde's outburst would be one understatement.**_

"_**I agree with him, but you can keep Sasori if you want." Itachi said suddenly and received a glare from Deidara.**_

At this was Sasori glaring at the Uchiha.

"_**Is that still about that little accident where Dana kicked a ball in to your manliness?" at that the older Uchiha and every female in the room blushed while the male part flinched in sympathy.**_

The male Akatsuki did the same.

"_**Deidara that was not an freaking accident. I swear to you that Sasori wants me dead." Itachi said and Lee could have sworn that he heard Sasuke mumble '**__**he is not the only one'**__**.**_

"_**We don't have them." Tsunade said finally stopping the arguing about the kids, but even she needed to shudder when she heard, just what three years old chibi Hidan tried to do.**_

"Ah looks like you are still your old self Hidan." Kakuzu said smiling while his partner stared at him confused.

_**Meanwhile in Otogakure **_

"_**KKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" a high-pitched female scream haled through the halls of Orochimaru's lair.**_

"_**Tayuya, what ha….WHAT THE FREAKING FUCK!!" screamed Kidomaru as he bust in the room to help his friend staring in horror at the strange symbol on the ground and the unmoving and blood cowered child in the middle of it.**_

"Aha…"

"_**He…he is…de…dead…" the girl said in tears.**_

"Saddly this is only a dream…" said Kakuzu sighing, his partner's glare fully ignored.

"_**What was that scream?" Kimimaro asked as he entered the door, but almost crashed back outside in to the hall as a crying Tayuya threw herself in his arms.**_

"_**Well uhm….one of the kids is…." But the spider like nin suddenly stopped in his sentence as he watched the little blue haired girl walk up to the corpse of her friend and…kicking him?**_

"_**Dummy Hi-kun." She said and to the three sound nins shock, which resulted Kimimaro to turn blue becouse of the panicked grips from his two teamates around him, as the bloody corpse of the child suddenly sat up.**_

"_**Itai…" he said and jumped up. Then the little girl grabbed the other's wrist and turned to the door where an other child walked inside and run up to them.**_

"_**Agaim?" asked the tanned boy.**_

"_**Yes." The girl said and pushed the other in the boy's arms.**_

"_**Erm…what do you think they are doing?" Kidomaru asked confused as he loosened his arms around Kimimaro who could finally breathe again.**_

"_**Don't ask me, that kid was dead, he had a freaking shuriken in his heart!" the young girl said.**_

"_**Calm down." Kimimaro said, but then his eyes widened as something like some sort of black tentacles come out from under the tanned boy's skin and it begun to shew the other's wounds together.**_

"_**Oookaaayyy…these kids are freaks…" the other two nodded.**_

"WE ARE NOT FRAKS!" screamed the Akatsuki members offended, most of them heard the term "freak" already enough times in they villages.

_**Meanwhile was Orochimaru discussing with Kabuto as they suddenly herd a loud crashing noise. **_

"_**What the heck was that again and…uhm Kabuto are you ok…?" the snake like nin asked a little bit worried as he watched the color drain from Kabuto's face.**_

"_**MY LABOR!!" he screamed and dashed out of the room, leaving a confused looking Orochimaru behind.**_

_**After three hours of running after the children, a still freaked out Tayuya, Kimimaro and Kidomaru were still hugging each other and mumbling something about '**__**living dead children, tentacles, blood, abnormal children'**__**, Kabuto was still down with the nerves because of his trashed labor and Orochimaru was really worried that if he keeps no with banging his head against the doorframe like that he well get seriously hurt, they finally managed to put everyone in the same room. **_

"_**Man, I would have never thought that kids could be that hard to handle." Sakon said while breathing heavily.**_

"_**You tell me, but at least it can't get any worse…" his twin said, but then suddenly the opposite wall crashed down revealing two rather angry looking Akatsuki members two Kage's, two Suna nins and of course a five Konoha nins.**_

"_**How dare you co…" but Kabuto was interpreted by Orochimaru cleaning his throat behind him.**_

"_**Kabuto let me speak…" he said and stepped a closer.**_

"_**Hai Orochi…" but suddenly eight chibis run past them and accidentally tripped Kabuto who fell forward, but was caught by Orochimaru even if in a very awkward way which caused they lips to met and earned a collectible 'eewww' from almost everyone in both groups and a sad whimper from Kimimaro.**_

A collective "ewww" could be also heard from the Akatsuki members.

"_**Dada Itami?" asked suddenly little Konan who was tugging on Itachi's cape, earning a five shocked gazes from the ones behind them.**_

"_**Yes Konan?" the Uchiha asked the confused looking little girl.**_

"_**Doe that mean that scammy snape and scammy doctol like each othem?" she asked.**_

"_**Uhm… from where did you get that idea?" the raven asked.**_

"_**Because them ale doin the same as you an nana Dei…" at that both Akatsuki blushed while everyone stared gapping at them, except little Sasori who walked up to Itachi and kicked him in the sin."**_

"_**Itai, I told you he is doing that on purpose…" Itachi hissed.**_

"_**Erm…we should go now kids…" Deidara said when Sasuke suddenly bust out.**_

"_**YOU KISSED AN OTHER GUY!!" the younger Uchiha screamed, but shut up suddenly shocked as he saw tears glittering in the chibis eyes.**_

"Since when does he care?" Itachi asked.

"_**Sasuke, don't scream in front of them." Itachi said as Kisame, Konan, Zetsu and Pain tried to hide under his cloak, the others under Deidara's.**_

"_**Eh….who are you and what did you do with my brother." Sasuke said panicked and pointed a shaking finger at Itachi.**_

"_**We will all discuss this later, but we should really go now." Tsunade said and everyone followed, leaving a five gapping sound nins behind and two certain nins who were blushing still crimson.**_

_**To be continued…**_

"So this is over Hidan you read next." Kakuzu said as he removed th thread from his partner's mouth and handed him the book.

"Watever fucker…" he growled.

_To be continued…_


	5. Oh Jashin

A/N: warning, Hidan is reading…

V. Oh Jashin, _This__ is __all __your __fault… _

* * *

"Well then fuckers here comes the next chapter, _**This is **__**all **__**your **__**fault.**_"

"Hidan stop complaining and read that damned book already." Snapped Kakuzu.

"I'm not bloody complaining you money whore that stands here." The zealot growled as he showed the book in to his partner's face.

"Okey, that is really the title." Kakuzu said as he sowed the book back to Hidan. "Read…"

"No need to command me around…"

_**Everyone was shocked to say the least. They knew that Tsunade used a forbidden jutsu on the Akatsuki, but they would have never guessed that they would be turned in to little kids.**_

"Well geez, we didn't know it either." Pain said while glaring at the book.

"_**And these children become cold blooded murderers…"**_

"What the fuck do they think they would become if they were threatened by everyone like shit." Hidan snapped and everyone nodded.

_**said Sakura while staring with the others at the eight chibi Akatsuki who were playing with a ball while giggling happily.**_

"_**It is so hard to believe, hey are cute." Temari said and Kankuro nearly shouted at his older sister.**_

"_**Cute…cute! Temari one of them become a traitor to Suna and was also one of the two who kidnapped Gaara."**_

"Oh Kami, can he already get over it?" Sasori asked while rolling his eyes.

"_**Kankuro, they are little children now."**_

"_**You shouldn't underestimate them." Itachi said as he walked outside with a plate of sweets, but then suddenly stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening.**_

Hidan suddenly broke out grinning as he loked at the redhead.

"Ooohhh…someone will be murdered by Diva here." He said as Sasori paled and his again behind Deidara.

_**Everyone followed the older Uchiha's gaze and sweatdropped when they saw little Sasori holding the ball and grinning manically at Itachi.**_

"_**Ugh…he is the only three years old beside Gaara back then who can give me the creeps." Kankuro said as he cowered behind his sister and everyone nodded.**_

_**Itachi tried to get away, but Sasori's strings held him in place and then…every male flinched and looked sympathetically at Itachi who was again on the ground, even Sasuke.**_

"_**That boy really seems to hate him…oucs…" Tsunade said as Deidara run outside after hearing Itachi's yelp of pure pain.**_

"_**Sasori no Dana, I already told you that something like that isn't nice un." the blond artist said in a scolding tone.**_

Hidan suddenly stopped gain and looked up starangely at Deidara.

"Hidan why did you idiot stop again?" but Kakuzu was ignored.

"Say Blondie about what are you thinking most of the time?" he asked and Deidara become suddenly rather pale, fearing about the next sentence int he book while Zetsu took this as his cue to cower Tobi's ears making Madara in curse in his soul room, but being thankfull that he could lip read.

'_**If Dana continues with this then Itachi will probably never get one up ever again, but he is probably rather big so that would be sad and…WHY'M I THINKING ABOUT HOW BIG ITACHI IS!!'**__** Deidara screamed in his mind and blushed. "Uhm…I will go and fetch the ice bag for you again un." He said and hurried away.**_

Suddenly was the whole Akatsuki staring strangely at Deidara whose face already matched the hair color of his partner while Itachi had a light pink tinge on his pale checks.

_**Some time later was Itachi back in his room groaning in pain.**_

"_**So, I need to go and met someone. Usually would Kakuzu be the one doing this, but considering that he is at the mo…**_

"Okey you are in every age a money whore you know that?" Hidan asked his partner with a raised eyebrow.

_**moment building a money castle, I need to go un." Deidara said while holding a sack in his hand which smelled suspicious.**_

"_**Erm…I know that I will not like the answer, but what is in that bag?" asked Asuma.**_

"_**Three heads and two hands, why?" at that everyone begun gapping. "Don't give me that look we need money for food and clothes to and when there are no requests for assassination we take bounty. Kakuzu knows the whole bingo book in and out so we know how much we get for whom. So please keep one eye at them." And with that he left.**_

"_**Well, it can't be that hard." Said Kakashi as he turned to the kids, suddenly noticing something. "One, two, three, four…"**_

"_**What are you doing my rightful rival?" Gai asked.**_

"_**Five, six…there are two children missing!" Kakashi suddenly said and everyone begun to run around and searching for chibi Hidan and Konan.**_

_**--**_

_**After looking everywhere and getting nearly a heart attack by some rather strange and some times disturbing things they found. Sasuke just stumbled out of Zetsu's room where he was sure that, that ranked plant tried to rape him,**_

"Yes, Lenore would do that to intruders." Zetsu's white side said.

_**he nearly got a heart attack as suddenly two loud screams could be heard. **_

_**KKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAA!!**_

_**Sasuke dashed to the source of the screams and pushed to door open.**_

"_**Sakura, Ino!" he said and suddenly both girls were in his arms whimpering and sobbing. Sasuke looked around for the source for why they were so scarred and suddenly his breath hitched.**_

"Really why the bloody fuck does every one of those fuckers freak when I pray?" Hidan asked annoyed while the others shrugged, they were already perfectly used to those rituals.

_**Hidan was laying in his own blood, little body filled with several deep cuts, a blade was still stuck in the little chest, eyes glazed over, mouth hanging open.**_

"_**Who…who co…could ha…have done so…something o horrible…?" Sakura asked while crying silently. The loud and in a way panicked gasps told them that the others had arrived.**_

"_**Who was that?" Kurenai asked shocked.**_

"_**Not again." Suddenly everyone whirled around to see Itachi, Konan in his arms. The older Uchiha sighed and walked over to the blood cowered little body, kneeling down beside it and putting Konan down on the ground in the process.**_

"_**What do you mean?" asked a confused Temari as she finally let go of her brothers.**_

"_**Are you done with your ritual Hidan, there will be ice cream in a five minutes." Itachi said and suddenly everyone was near a heart attack as the dead boy jumped up smiling.**_

"_**YAY!" he shouted happily.**_

"_**First you need to have a bath, then your wounds saved by Kakuzu and then you will get your ice." He said as he pulled the blade out.**_

"_**What the heck…." Was the only thing from Sasuke.**_

"_**Hidan is a Jashin priest and in a way immortal, this king of so called ceremonies are usual for them, we all are already used to it, mostly because he is the perfect partner for Kakuzu." He explained as he begun to walk out with the two children.**_

"_**Why?"**_

"_**Because Kakuzu has a short temper and killed like thirty of his partners, so he can hurt Hidan, but that is no use because of two things. A. he is immortal as you could see and B. he is a masochist so he even enjoys it when Kakuzu rips his ribcage open and pulls his guts out." Itachi finished and walked in the bath's direction with a grin on his face after seeing everyone's expressions.**_

"Whimps." They all said in union.

"Why that little shit…" Hidan growled suddenly.

"_**Ugh…I think my brother is living together with a bunch of freaks." Sasuke said and everyone nodded.**_

"WE ARE NOT FREAKS!" screamed the whole Akatsuki.

_**After managing to give Hidan a bath and not landing himself again in the tub, both went down and the children begun to eat the ice cream happily.**_

_**Itachi was currently leaning with his back against the wall beside the kitchen door, a **__**steaming**__** cup of hot tea in his hand. A grin spread through his lips as he heard the screams of his little brother and his pathetic friends as they witnessed the great Akatsuki ice cream war in the kitchen. Why should he be the only one who gets tormented…**_

"_**I can't believe that we just had an ice cream fight with a bunch of S-class-criminals-turned-in-to-children. "said Kiba as he whipped some of the cold and sticky substance from Akamaru's fur.**_

"Wellcome to my live." Pain said smiling.

"_**Well, this was some sort of interesting experience." Said Asuma as he gave Kurenai a wet cloth for her face.**_

"_**I need to say that I would have never expected them to act beside like children usually do, also like the old selves and that scares me." Said Tsunade.**_

"_**You mean they usual jutsus and you saw the ritual one of them performed." Jiraiya said as he watched Konan create origami butterflies.**_

"_**It is time for a bath." Itachi said suddenly with a smooth grin.**_

"You are quiet enjoying this Dive, don't you?" Hidan asked and Itachi shrugged.

"_**What, Hell no, not after this feeding chaos!!" exclaimed Kankuro and got nearly hit by his sister for this.**_

"_**Well, would you like to clean the kitchen better?" the older Uchiha asked and looked at the paling group staring inside the kitchen which looked as if an avalanche hit it. "Uhm…bath…"**_

"_**Great, then you can go and bath them, but before that…"**_

"Oh man this is fucking priceless…"

_**and with that Itachi held up a wiggling Kisame. "…two lovely ladies can play dipper changing with my partner." At that everyone backed to the wall most of all the female part. "Come on ladies, if some of you want to have one day a child of your own, maybe from my little brother over there, then you need practi..." he couldn't even end his sentence then suddenly a pink and blond blur grabbed Kisame from him who let out a scared yelp and dashed of with the child. "Erm…wow Sasuke you have there two really desperate girls." Itachi said grinning as his little brother looked as red as a tomato.**_

"Now that was sneaky…"

"_**Itachi…I hate you…" the younger Uchiha hissed and grabbed suddenly chibi Sasori who was trying to reach a book on the coffee table.**_

"_**Sa…Sasuke, pu…put that…that brat down immediately…" Itachi said, as he begun to back away from his grinning brother and the child.**_

"_**Oh no niichan…" he said grinning as he watched Sasori grab a spray bottle of whipped cream.**_

"_**Ehm…I slowly begin to think that it was a bad idea to use that jutsu against the Akatsuki." Tsunade said.**_

"_**So, this is how real brothers act around each other?" Sai asked curiously.**_

"_**Erm…only brothers with major problems…"**_

"Okey…"

"We are Uchiha brothers we are bound to have them…" Itachi said suddenly startling everyone while Madara nodded in his sould room.

_**After Sasuke and Itachi stopped they fight which ended with Sasori sitting on Itachi's back and pushing with all his weight the head of said Uchiha in a big puddle of ice-cream until he was taken down from Shizune who like the others feared that he would drown if they let the child continue. Then after some chasing and Tsunade breaking a gigantic hole in the wall and… **_

"THAT DRENCHED WOMAN _**DID WHAT**_**!!**" screamed Kakuzu in rage, making everyone groand, that rant will go on for a while.

_**nearly scaring the hyperactive children to death they gave everyone a bath and then moved to the cleaning of the kitchen. Meanwhile were two Uchihas fighting one epic battle of Sharingan glaring against each other.**_

Hidan suddenly broke our laughing making everyone stare at him expect Kakuzu who was still ranting about how expensive it is to repear a wall.

"This is starting to get more priceless with every minute." Hidan said laughing.

"_**Dare to touch me you pervert and I will break your hands." Sasuke hissed at his brother who sat across from him, a deep blush on both of they faces.**_

"_**Was I the one training by a pedophile reptile, and don't worry I don't feel attracted to you." The older answered annoyed.**_

"_**Sure, you prefer blonds more." Sasuke said smirking.**_

At this Deidara blushed again while Itachi stared at his nails.

"_**How did you come to that conclusion that I swing that way?" Itachi asked.**_

"_**Well first off all you freaking kissed one other guy and…we are sitting together in a bathtub…"**_

"_**We did that often in the past…"**_

"_**But then I was only five and you still kissed one other guy." Sasuke said.**_

"Can't that boy just drop that already?" Kisame asked his partner who shook his head.

"If Sasuke is stuck ont he idea it is nearly impossible to get him away." Itachi said.

"_**I already told you I wasn't intending to kiss him, I don't know what come over me and now this talk is over." Itachi said as he stood up and stormed outside of the bathroom, forgetting the towel and that others were also in they hideout.**_

_**After he opened the door he suddenly stood face to face with a bet red Sakura who immediately fainted.**_

Now were most Akatsuki members trying not to snicker.

"_**What was that?" Sasuke asked himself out loud as his brother peaked his head inside the room.**_

"_**Sasuke-kun, your pink haired fan girl just fainted." He said and watched Sasuke jump out of the tub and race to the fainted girl's side, also forgetting to put on a towel.**_

_**Itachi only shrugged and begun to walk in the direction of his room, ignoring his brother who was now kneeling beside the girl.**_

"That won't help her much when she wakes." Konan said blushing.

Hidan wanted to continue, but suddenly started grinning at two certain members.

"Hey Plant-boy if you want Tobi to stay a Good Boy then he shouldn't her this." He said and Zetsu imediately cowered Tobi's ears while Kakuzu stopped his rant. "And now some slight adult time." Hidan said as he looked grinning at the now furiously blushing Deidara and Itachi.

"_**I…Itachi-san…" come a shocked voice from behind him, turning around he was looking at a blushing Deidara. '**__**Do…just don't look down…look at his face. Oh god Itachi look so absolutely hot…HEY I JUST TOLD YOU TO NOT LOOK DOWN THERE!! BUT OH DEAR KAMI, IT LOOKS ALREADY SO…AAHHH! NO, NO! BAD DEIDARA, BAD DEIDARA!' **_

"_**Deidara, are you ok?" Itachi's voice suddenly brought him back out of his thoughts, but his blush only deepened as he noticed that the Uchiha was now standing only inches away from him.**_

"_**Screw that I will probably be killed because of this!" the blond suddenly said and threw Itachi inside the raven's room and locked the door behind himself.**_

"Ooohh…someone is desperate." Hidan wistled while said two people started blushing even more.

"_**Erm…Deidara, what ha gotten in to you?" the Uchiha asked feeling suddenly a strange heat in his body as he saw the grinning blond slowly beginning to undress in front of him.**_

"_**Nothing, the kids are tormenting the good side at the moment and we still didn't spoke about why you have kissed me un…" Deidara said as the last layer of cloth was also disposed and he pushed Itachi back on the bed.**_

"_**De…Deidara ahh…" Itachi tried to speak which was a bit hard considering that he slowly begun to see why a mouth on your palm could be really handy.**_

"_**Sss…relax Itachi, I can promise you that you will like it un…" Deidara said in a low seductive tone.**_

At this part had bot Itachi and Deidara already a rather unatural shade of red while even the others had a light vlus on they checks.

"At least you have got a room and didn't do it on the floor…" Pain said while both Kisame and Sasori stared worriedly at they partners, that shad was definiately not healthy.

"Kakuzu we need to set cameras up in the rooms of those two." Konan whispered to the banker who grinned greedily under his mask.

"Know what you mean Konan." He whispered back.

_**Meanwhile was Sasuke still trying to get Sakura awake, but he brought her inside the bathroom for that. **_

"_**Sakura, wake up. Sakura…" Sasuke let out a relieved sight as he saw her emerald eyes slowly opening.**_

"_**Ugh…Sasuke-kun…" but her eyes suddenly widened in shock, her ace blushing and body tensing.**_

"_**Sakura, what is wrong?" the boy asked worried.**_

"_**Sa…Sasuke-kun…yo…you are n…naked…" she finally brought out.**_

"Oh plese Jashin-sama are you Uchihas always run over for sex?" Hidan asked.

"_**Erm…ye…yes…" he said and begun to blush also at the realization that he was sitting here beside the girl who admitted her love for him when he was on the way to betrayer his village, his fiends, his own past, the same who wanted to become a traitor only to be allowed to stay on his side.**_

"Awww…" Konan coed dreamily.

"_**Sasuke-kun…" Sakura said as she slowly stood up, Sasuke doing the same.**_

"_**Ye…yes Sakura…" he said, don't knowing how the young woman would react, but was startled as she suddenly begun grinning and threw herself at the young Uchiha, bringing they lips together. Both crashing backwards in the bath tub, still filled with warm water.**_

"Ugh…I fear I can never see that bathroom int he same way as before…" said Kisame shuddering.

"_**I can't believe that they threw nearly every existing thing from the regales and we caught everything." Said Shikamaru as he laid sprawled out on the couch, panting like the others. **_

"_**Even my nephew Konohamaru wasn't so tiresome as they…" Asuma said panting on the ground.**_

"_**Yes, but they are finally sleeping." Said Tenten as she looked over at the eight chibis cuddled closely together while sleeping peacefully.**_

"_**Where are Sasuke-kun, Itachi and Sakura?" Ino asked suddenly.**_

"_**Are those two still bathing?" Naruto asked.**_

_**After everyone stood up they walked upstairs and were now standing in front of the closed bathroom door and listening to a five strange noises coming from the inside which made everyone blush.**_

"Oh please…" Itachi said while rolling his eyes after recovering somewhat.

"_**P…please don't tell me they are…." Kiba couldn't even say the word.**_

"_**So, this is what they call incest." At that everyone stared wide eyed at a smiling Sai.**_

"_**What incest?" suddenly everyone turned around to stare gapping at Itachi who was standing beside a happily grinning Deidara.**_

"You would!" said everyone to the blushing blonde.

"_**Uhm…guys if Itachi is out here then with who is Sasuke…"**_

"_**SAKURA!!"**_

"_**SHUT UP INO PIG, SOME PEOPLE ARE BUSSY HERE!"**_

"That is also a way to say it." Pain commented.

"Just like you when you say that you are doing paper work." Konan said while winking at her partner who blushed as the other looked at him grinning.

"Stop grinning like idiots and Hidan continue reading." Pain snapped, blush still on his face.

_**came Sakura's voice out of the bathroom and everyone begun gapping and blushing while Ino was about to explode from anger, but was held down from Shikamaru's shadow jutsu.**_

"_**Looks like my little brother wants to start with the relieving of the clan sooner then I thought."**_

"_**SHUT UP ITACHI!!" yelled Sasuke.**_

"_**Where are the kids?" Deidara asked suddenly.**_

"_**They are sleeping downstairs." Said Kurenai.**_

"_**Ok, I will go and see after them." The blond said smiling and begun to walk to the stairs.**_

"_**Well, then we can go now hopefully…" said Kakashi.**_

"_**Not before I know what jutsu you used against them and how we can return them back to normal." Said Itachi.**_

"_**Well, that jutsu will probably wear off in a few days or two weeks…" said Tsunade.**_

At this both Itachi and Deidara groaned.

"_**Then you all will stay her till everyone is back to normal or else you will spend eternity in your worst nightmares…" said the Sharingan user and everyone sweatdropped. "And now I will go downstairs to Deidara and the others." He said and begun to walk away.**_

"_**Tsunade-Hime, this is your entire fault."**_

"_**Shut up Jiraiya…" growled the blond Sanin as she glared after the Uchiha who she would have loved to hit at the moment, but held herself back, making a mental note to put little Sasori tonight in the black head's room when he is sleeping and give the kid a gigantic tube of snail slime.**_

Most members snickered at this expect Sasori who threw uneasy glances at Itachi, he still wanted to live, but he doubted that he will survive it should the Uchiha go berserk on him.

_**Downstairs both Itachi and Sasori needed to sneeze.**_

"_**Did you catch a cold un?"**_

"_**I think someone was thinking about us." He said while picking chibi Tobi up who held his hands up to him to be picked up.**_

"_**Ok."**_

"So this is over who is next?"

"I will." Kisame voluntered and Hidan threw the book over to him.

_To be continued…_


	6. Ookeeyy…

VI. Ookeeyy…, _Kids __are __Hell_

* * *

Kisame looked down at the next chapter and started chuckling.

"What?" Pain asked.

"The title is, _**Kids **__**are **__**Hell**_." Kisame read ad the other also started chuckling.

"If they should have known that fact, children always are Hell on Earth." Pain said.

"Kisame please start reading." Konan said smiling.

_**The next morning everyone arrived at eight in the morning and were standing in font of the door. **_

"_**So, Hokage-sama open it." Said Izumo who was still trying to figure out just why, Kotetsu, Genma, Ebisu, Ibiki, Anko,**_

"Wasn't she Orochimaru's student back then in Konoha?" Kisame asked his partner.

"Yes and he was rather fond of her." Itachi answered.

"Know what you mean he was rather proud about her progresses to." Sasori said nodding.

_**Iruka and he himself needed to come along.**_

"_**Uhm…why me?" Tsunade asked.**_

"_**Because you are the Hokage." Kotetsu said as suddenly the door opened revealing a rather annoyed looking Itachi with…pudding in his hair?**_

At this Itachi started growling while most of the others chuckled at the image.

"_**Don't even ask, but get inside and help Deidara and me with feeding." He said as he walked back to the kitchen, picking chibi Zetsu up on the way who looked on the verge of tears. "I know, the others are having beside the pudding smashed vegetables." Itachi said while patting him on the back. "Come we will eat outside in the garden with all your loved flowers." At that everyone begun gapping at the Uchiha.**_

The Akatsuki were also gapping at said Uchiha while Zetsu blushed.

"_**Hokage-sama, did you hit him eventually on the head?" asked Kotetsu.**_

"_**No, but he really acts strange."**_

"_**Itachi-san are they here jet? I really need help here by the cleaning of the kitchen." Deidara said suddenly as he stepped outside of the kitchen, seven rather messy chibis running past him except a little redhead who was hugging his leg. "And I also need someone who gives them a bath…"**_

"_**Kotetsu, Izumo, Ebisu and Genma you are in charge for that one." Tsunade said to the four gapping males.**_

_**--**_

_**So after some chasing, bumping together and getting nearly thrown out of the window by taking a wrong turn, they finally managed to get them and to bath them even if they also got wet and nearly run out of the bathroom screaming when the chibis told them that Sasuke and Sakura plaid with each other in the water yesterday. **_

The whole Akatsuki rolled they eyes at this.

_**After this was over were the four arguing with Tsunade about why she didn't tell them about this, Sasuke was getting the TALK from his brother, Choji was desperately trying to get as much distance between himself and Zetsu as possible. Sakura on the other hand was dragged away by the other girls who wanted to know every little detail from what she and Sasuke did yesterday. The others were meanwhile looking after the children, which was not so easy.**_

"_**Hidan, get immediately back here! Or please stop running that is dangerous!" Neji yelled while chasing after little Hidan who was happily running around with a knife in his little hand.**_

"You know that that boy reminds me somewhat at you Kakuzu you also always tell me to be carefull." Hidan said to his partner who only "hmpf"-ed."

_**Meanwhile was Naruto walking in the living room with a wiggling Kisame in his hands.**_

Kisame nearly dropped the book before groaning.

"_**How did you manage to get yourself locked in the fridge?" the blond asked the shivering chills as suddenly Hidan and then Neji passed him. **_

At this broke most member out laughing.

_**Naruto put Kisame down who crawled up the couch right in to Itachi's lap.**_

"Aww…" Konan needed to coe at this while Kisame blushed.

"Hey Blondie the Goldfish is after your boyfriend." Hidan said teasingly.

"I'M/HE IS NOT HIS/MY BOYFRIEND!" both Itachi and Deidara screamed in union, a deep blush on they checks.

"_**Naruto, grab Hidan!" yelled Neji as they run again in the room.**_

"_**Ok." But Naruto failed and also didn't notice chibi Tobi climbing up at the top of a bookshelf.**_

"_**WWHHHEEEEE!!" the masked child yelled happily as he jumped at Naruto who from the sudden force and shock kipped forward, right against Neji as they crashed to the ground, lips crashing together.**_

_**Hidan immediately stopped with his running and a deathly silence fell over the room as everyone stared wide eyed at the two shocked boys on the ground.**_

"_**Na…Naruto-kun…Ne…Neji-niisan…" Hinata said shocked.**_

"_**Well that is already the second guy, first Sasuke then Neji. Hey Naruto please the next time we are somewhere with people behind you warn me that I should not become the third accident victim." Kiba said and suddenly some of they friends turned to Sasuke.**_

"WHAT ABOUT MY BROTHER AND THE KYUUBI!" Itachi roared suddenly, startling everyone.

"_**What?" the younger Uchiha asked blushing.**_

"_**So, you had a problem that I kissed Deidara…" Itachi said.**_

"So you Uchiha prefer in males blondes mostly?" Hidan asked when a kunai flew past his head. "HEY WATHCH IT!"

"Hodan shup up and Itachi calm down and let Kisame read." Pain ordered. "_We really don't need a jutsu which turns everyone int o children, they are already ont hat level…"_ he thought sighing.

"_**But in our case it was an accident." Sasuke growled as he pointed at Naruto and Neji who were both on they fours now and looked like as if they would soon throw up. Hinata and Tenten were already on they sides to help them.**_

"_**And when was this 'accident'?" Itachi asked sternly.**_

"_**Erm…what is then wrong with him?" Genma asked Kakashi who sat beside him.**_

"_**I think his older brother instincts have kicked in again after some years." The silver haired jounin said while everyone watched the two brothers arguing with each other while Naruto and Neji still felt miserable.**_

"_**Wow, has somebody popcorn or chips, this is better then any soap opera I ever saw." Anko said while watching both groups with big interest.**_

"_**Well, you missed yesterday the big accidental kiss between Orochimaru and Kabuto." Asuma said and Anko's eyes widened.**_

"_**Dang, that one must have looked priceless." She said, but then suddenly light bulb went up over her head. "I will just ask your nephew to use his sexy no jutsu boys on boys version,**_

"Don't tell me that, that jutsu has got improvement in both genders…" Kisame said shocked.

_**and I will bring a camera." She said grinning while punching the air, making her friends sweatdropp, while chibi Kisame who sat now in her lap mimicking her movements.**_

_**This will be one rather long day, and it ha only begun…**_

"So who is reading next?" Kisame asked.

"I will while **I keep one eye on Tobi that he doesn't hear any unsuateble stuff for him."** Zetsu said and Kisame handed him the book.

_To be continued…_


	7. Who told you it would be easy

VII. Who told you it would be easy, _The longest day in our lives…_

* * *

"Now you know what you need to do?" Zetsu's white side said.

"**Yes, what did you think what I did by the other six chapters and now start reading already**." The black side growled.

"Okey calm down please." The white side replied before starting reading.

_**It was again feeding time which proved for both sides good and evil to be rather difficult then our chibi Akatsuki refused to eat they…lets just say everyone called that food '**__**thing', **__**some on the male part even questioned if it was even eatable, or still living that is.**_

"Ugh…if both wouldn't be three years old at the moment I would say that Hidan or Zetsu cooked." Kisame whispered to Sasori who nodded.

"_**Erm…hey you kids want probably to get big and strong so mouth open." Said Kotetsu as he tried to put a sponge of '**__**thing'**__** in Hidan's mouth who squeezed his eyes shut and turned away. "Come on, open wide." Kotetsu was slowly getting impatient and tried to turn Hidan's head to him, but said mini Jashinist let out a little yelp when the man's hand neared him which on the other hand made mini Kakuzu glare at the ninja.**_

"_**Erm…Kotetsu, I think yo…you should back away from Hidan… slowly" Izumo, who was sitting in front of the glaring child warned his partner.**_

"_**Izumo, I'm trying to feed here…" the other said as he continued his attempt to turn Hidan's head back to him.**_

"_**But…"**_

"_**Izumo, later."**_

_**Suddenly he was grabbed by something. When he looked down he saw black tentacles tangle themselves around his body and then with great force he was thrown against the nearest wall and he even created a crater by landing or to put it better crashing against it.**_

"He was warned." The Akatsuki said while Hidan started therew a little side glance at his partner, he felt rather strange about a protective Kakuzu.

"_**Kotetsu!" Izumo yelled as he run up to his partner while everyone stared at them wide eyed.**_

_**"Well, I don't think that they need to get stonger." said Jiraiya and Tsunade nodded.**_

_**Deidara and Itachi sighed dear while and looked at each other.**_

"_**Should we have warned them that since they got turned in to children, that Kakuzu is rather protective about Hidan un?" Deidara asked as both of them watched as one of Kakuzu's tentacles stroke affectionately through Hidan's silvery hair and one other whipped a little tear away from the boy's lavender eyes.**_

At that everyone stared grinning at the two blushing immortals who tryed to look everywhere expect at each other.

"_**Yes, I think we should have told them." Itachi said while Tsunade, Shizune and Sakura were working on checking Kotetsu for damages.**_

"Well no**w they know."** Zetsu said grinning.

_**After one new session of food war and cleaning session by which you could hear some rather colorful curses they got the kitchen, living room, the kids and themselves cleaned. Now was creative time and that meant the children were now sitting outside in the garden and drawing happily. **_

"_**They really like to draw." Tenten said.**_

"_**Yes, the drawing of a child is still full of youthful innocence which was not shadowed by the worries of adulthood." Gai said smiling as he felt that someone was pulling on his pants. Looking down the Tai-jutsu Master noticed the color blue.**_

"_**Hete." Chibi Kisame said happily as he held his finished picture up.**_

"_**For me?" Gai asked touched as he took the picture. He looked at it with teary eyes, but suddenly his jaw fell and his face paled.**_

"_**I dlem you." Kisame said happily.**_

"_**Ehm…Gai, are you ok?" Kakashi asked as he peeked over the other sensei's shoulder and needed to suppress a laugh after he got over his shock. "Wow, he got you really perfectly and look he even draw your spilled out blood perfectly." At that everyone paled.**_

At this startged everyone chuckling as they imagined Gai's face.

"_**Just what did the kid draw?" Genma asked as Anko grabbed the picture and let out a whistle. "Nice artwork Kisame-kun." she said while ruffling the boy's blue hair. "He drew Gai-sensei while lying in the water, rather many shuriken in his body and blood all around him." She said grinning.**_

"_**Uhm…what was that about innocence?"**_

"_**You can get used to the pictures un." Deidara said as he picked the ready pictures up and walked over to the others while looking at them, but he suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at Sasori then he turned back to Itachi and the others who looked at him questioning.**_

"_**Deidara, what is wrong?" Sakura asked the blond.**_

"_**Well uhm…Itachi, I think you should hide your blade in a child proof place and I will hid the flame thrower which is in the basement un." Deidara said.**_

"_**Let me guess, Sasori drew some of his plans." The older Uchiha said.**_

"_**Can I see it?" Sasuke asked suddenly smiling and everyone sweatdropped.**_

"Lovely little brother Itachi-san." Kisame said to his partner.

_**After playing hide and seek and nearly getting a five heart attacks was it again time for dinner by which surprisingly nothing bad happened. You would think that everyone was glad because of this, but no… **_

_**Something was about to happen, something bad…**_

_**After feeding, sat everyone in the living room and were watching TV except for Anko who was playing with chibi Kisame, the two soon become one heart and soul.**_

Kisame started blushing at this while the others watched him grinning.

"Erm…" he said and Itachi transformed a kunai int o a photo about Anko and showed it to the others.

"Not bat." Was they only response.

"_**It is strangely peaceful." Sasuke said and the others nodded.**_

"In this organization is something like this dangerous." Pain said nodding, the last time they had such a silence Deidara nearly blew up the HQ.

"_**Let us hope that nothing will happen this time. How long till they will be back to normal again Hokage-sama?" Asuma asked as he glanced over at the blond woman.**_

"_**I researched, but I'm still by the thought that two weeks if we have luck…" she said sighing as she sunk deeper in the couch.**_

"_**Then that will be two really long weeks in our lives…" Kotetsu groaned as he touched his still aching and bandaged side. "And now that we have some peace you could be so friendly to tell us every detail we need to know about them for our own safety." He said.**_

"_**Well, you have already found out that Kakuzu is rather protective about Hidan,**_

"On a rather painfull way." Hidan said grinning.

_**who still likes to do his usual and in the first place bloody rituals. The same goes for Zetsu who will bite your arm of if you dare to do something which scares or makes Tobi sad. **_

"Zetsu-san always keeps Tobi safe." The masdked nin said smiling as he hugged the cannibal who blushed while the others grinned.

_**And he also likes to be with his flowers so never do something bad to his garden and well, Leader-sama is rather protective for Konan." Itachi explained and suddenly everyone was staring gapping at him. "What?"**_

_**You just spoke more then two sentences…" Sasuke said gapping while staring at his brother wide eyed.**_

"_**Hnm…" was the only response from the Uchiha.**_

_**Everyone was grinning as suddenly a loud crash made everyone look in the direction of the kitchen from where one other crash could be heard.**_

"_**What the heck was that?" Kiba asked as he walked over to the kitchen door. "Hey stop that!" he yelled suddenly and run inside.**_

"_**What is wro…erm did anyone see Hidan and Tobi?" Temari asked as suddenly everyone realized hat was wrong.**_

"_**THE DISHES!!" and with that everyone run in the kitchen where they found the two missing chibis giggling and throwing plates and glasses to the ground which poor Kiba and Akamaru tried to catch.**_

"HIDAN, TOBI!" roared Kakuzu while he launched himself at his partner and Zetsu pulled Tobi closer for his own safety.

"Zetsu continue this will take those two a while." Pain ordered.

_**After stopping the two and cleaning everything was it time for bed. Lets just say some ninjas could only gap or shudder while they listened to three full sides out of Hidan's bible. Then after four other stories everyone was sleeping. **_

"_**I think that was the longest day of my live." Ibiki said groaning. "I'm getting really to old for babysitting, most of all babysitting my enemies."**_

"_**And it is not over; we will need to come back as long as the jutsu doesn't wear of." Tsunade said while dropping her head.**_

"_**You can't be serious!" Kotetsu said shocked.**_

"_**I don't mind, if I can I will even spend the night here." Said Anko smiling and everyone stared at her shocked. "What? They can really grow on to your heart." she said smiling and everyone sweatdropped.**_

"So I'm ready, it is now, **Itachi is reading next." **

_To be continued… _


	8. Ouch

VIII. Ouch, _Dangerous __cooking__ and innocent questions_

* * *

Itachi took the book from Zetsu as he made a big bow around the still fighting immortals and sat back down.

"The next title is _**Dangerous **__**cooking**__** and innocent questions**_." he read.

_**At the end of the day were our heroes literally crawling back home. Well except Anko who had decided to spend the night in Akatsuki Headquarters and Jiraiya who was carried by some of the other males after he got beaten by some rather furious looking females and two angry Akatsuki members, he made the mistake to spy on the girls by bathing.**_

"Sensei…" both Pain and Konan groaned making the other members stare at them wide eyed, even Hidan and Kakuzu stoped fighting, leter of the two missing his mask.

"SENSEI!" they screamed in shock.

"Yes when we were so like ten were we trained by him for three years." Pain explained in a tone which told everyone to drop the theme or feel God's wrath.

_**Who would have known that Hinata could manage such a hard punch?**_

"Hyuuga are not to be taken lightly." Itachi said.

_**As the door of the headquarters closed again Anko turned grinning to the two Akatsuki members, chibi Kisame still in her arms.**_

"_**Wow, this was a pretty interesting day, don't you think?" she asked grinning.**_

_**The two males only groaned and Itachi shoot the blond on his side a cold glare who blushed and grinned awkwardly.**_

"_**Uchiha, don't tell me you are still mad at him for that little accident." Anko said with a stern face which was promptly mimicked by Kisame. Said Uchiha cold only gap at the woman.**_

"_**You can't be serious…"**_

_**Flashback **_

_**Everyone was sitting in the kitchen while Deidara, Shizune, Anko, Sakura, Ino…lets say the whole female part, well except Dei who is male were making dinner. Everyone was to deep in thoughts to notice Orochimaru and his closest followers sneaking up to the window. **_

"_**Orochimaru-sama, do you think this is such a good idea?" Kimimaro asked who was still in a foul mod after yesterday's events. **_

"_**Yes, the whole Akatsuki are now children except the one I want, bit that is no problem, Pain has much more power." Orochimaru said. The others only sighed, but suddenly snapped they heads to they master as he let out a frightened 'eep'. **_

_**Everyone looked to him and paled. The snake like ninja sat on the ground paler as usual with a knife only a millimeter from a certain part of his anatomy. **_

Everyone flinched before breaking out in to hysterical laughter, but Itachi soon stopped and glared with red Sharingan eyes at Sasori.

_**They also heard a similar voice from inside and decided to drag the shock frozen Orochimaru back home. **_

_**Meanwhile inside had Itachi the same skin color as Orochimaru, a knife between his legs.**_

Sasori flinched and started calculating if he threw his partner at the Uchiha would he have a chance to exit the rook and hide in Hiroku?

_**It flew there when Sasori decided to glomp a certain blond male who by the little shock accidentally fell against Anko. So Anko's knife went outside and Deidara's backwards. **_

"_**Erm…Itachi…are you ok?" Deidara asked worried. Ground 1. he loved Itachi and ground 2. he loved that certain part of Itachi to. **_

Itachi read blushing as Deidara did the same before letting a clay spider explode on Hidan who made a few handsigns.

_**The Uchiha didn't answer, only fainted… **_

"_**Well, he took this like a man and didn't scream." Anko said as she put a hand on the worried looking blonde's shoulder while every male grabbed the chibi boys and run outside in panic. They would never walk in a kitchen again if a woman is working in there with a knife. **_

_**End flashback… **_

"_**Ok, I know for a guy is such a thing a traumatic thing to happen, but hey you still have everything on the right place and that fact should make you both happy." Anko said grinning as she watched the two males blush. '**__**Wow, a blushing Uchiha, now that is something you don't see everyday.'**_

"We know, but today is a special day." Said the Akatsuki members while Itachi glared at them.

"_**We will go to bed now, take Kisame to the others, they should be sleeping already." Itachi said as he put his arms on his hips.**_

"_**Sure, have fun you two, but don't be to loud." Anko said as she watched both Akatsuki turn even redder then the Sharingan.**_

"Really that woman…"

_**After they left Anko looked down grinning at Kisame who stared up at her confused.**_

"How addorable." Itachi said as he looked up grinning at his partner.

"_**Don't worry sweetie,**_

Kisame went red at this.

_**you will understand when you are back to normal again, but in the mean time come. It is already bed time for little Akatsukis." she said in a sing-song voice and begun to walk to the room of the children, but Kisame suddenly begun to shake his head. "What is wrong Kisame-kun?" she asked the child who in turn snuggled closer to her." I see, you would like to sleep by me." She said and the child smiled. "Ok, then come." And with that Anko walked to her room.**_

_**On that night sleep everyone peacefully, well except Itachi who was growling while laying on the floor of his own room. The ground for this was that Sasori suddenly walked in the room and wanted to sleep by Deidara and the blond had no chance against the sad puppy eyes of his chibi-turned-Danna. Itachi also agreed then he didn't stand a chance against the blonde's puppy look. And now? That damned brat kicked him down from his own bed.**_

_**Sasori would pay after he is back to normal again…**_

Sasori was now really nervous as he looked at the Uchiha while the others grinned at Kisame.

_**On the next morning went everything the same way except… **_

"_**Jiraiya, did you see the kids?" Tsunade asked her old team mate who was typing at the moment on the newest chapter of **__**'Ica Ica Paradise-The return of the Paradise'**__**.**_

"_**Well I saw Konan a five minutes ago and she asked me we…." The white haired San-nin suddenly paled.**_

"_**What did she ask you?" Tsunade wanted to know.**_

"I would also like to know." Konan said.

"_**Uhm…I need to go and look for her…" and with that he disappeared in s puff of smoke, leaving a confused looking Hokage behind.**_

"That doesn't sound to good…"

"We agree…"

_**Meanwhile in the kitchen were Deidara, Anko, Shizune, Ino, Temari, Sakura and Hinata doing the dishes.**_

"_**You can't e serious that on the last Christmas party Hidan got drunk and begun to strip on the table." Said Anko.**_

"We remember that one." Said the whole organization.

"_**But he did that while sinning the 'Barbie song', Kakuzu needed to drag him down from the table and set him under the cold shower." The blond said and everyone begun to giggle.**_

"_**Wow, you know all the things you told us you do when not killing someone or going after the bijuu that someone would think you are just a group of friends." Said Temari stunned.**_

"_**No, we are not friends un…" Deidara suddenly said and looked down at his right hand with a said smile.**_

"_**What do you mean?" Sakura asked confused.**_

The Akatsuki members looked at this confused, they were friends even if that was to most people not known, they were the only ones they had and could trust, but Itachi's smile told them already what stood there.

"_**We are each others family…" the blond said softly. "We were threatened wrong in our homes and were always alone then no one was there to save us from loneliness, but here in Akatsuki we found others who know our pain and can understand us."**_

At this everyone nodded while a soft smile found its way to they lips, they were family and would alaways be there for each other.

"_**Just like my little brother and Naruto." Temari said softly as she looked outside the kitchen window at her brother and Naruto who were talking with each other smiling.**_

"_**Yes." Deidara then suddenly looked down to see Konan standing there with the others boys, Sasori was pouting.**_

"_**Nana Dei…?" she asked innocently.**_

"_**Yes un?"**_

Itachi stared suddenly wide eyed at the book then…

"THAT PERVERTED TOAD IF I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!" with that went Itachi in to a long rant and Kisame picked the book up to read the part which made his partner act like that.

"Me asned uncle Jimaiya wele babyes come an he samn that if someome love each othl leally muc then a baby comes." She said innocently.

"Yeas, me all tiled, but nothing and Sasoli is poutin…" chibi Hidan said and everyone paled, then stormed outside of the kitchen.

"…"

"THAT PERVERTED BASTARD!!" screamed the whole Akatsuki and they needed nearly one hour to calm down.

"_**Where is that perverted bastard!!" roared Sakura, startling the others.**_

"_**What is wrong?" Kakashi asked.**_

"_**That bastard told Konan that if two people really like each other they will make a baby…and she told that the others and now they told us that they have tried, but nothing." Temari growled and the males all paled while Itachi activated his Sharingan and looked about to kill someone.**_

_**After they found Jiraiya a three hours chasing and screaming stood on the plan. And while the adults were carrying on they murdering plans, the children were watching them from the back door.**_

"_**Adums ale stlanme…" said chibi Zetsu.**_

"_**Yeah, uhm wham is wlong Konan-chan?…" Pain asked the sadly looking girl.**_

Itachi paled again before reading the sentence.

"_**I manted to ask nana Dei an dada Itami if I coum habe a little sistel." She said innocently and Sasori on continued pouting.**_

And with that he haded to book hurriedly to Deidara that he should quickly start reading before someone comments, but looking down at the title Deidara started gapping.

"That is only a joke right un?" he asked.

"What is wrong again?" Kisame asked.

"Let me see." Itachi said as Deidara showed him the next title making the Uchiha pale.

"Ok you two we promisse to not comment about the title so Deidara read." Pain said as Deidara took a deep breath.

"_**In your embrace**_…" he read blushing and true to they word no one commented, but you could see that they really wanted to.

_To be continued…_


	9. Why me

IX. Why me…, _In your __embrace_

* * *

Deidara sighed heavily before he started reading and Itachi felt also rather uneasy.

_**Deidara slowly opened his eyes, a tired look to the alarm clock told him that it was two minutes after midnight. Turning to his other side the blond smiled down at the little redhead ho was soundly sleeping beside him. Deidara's smile suddenly vanished when he noticed that the spot behind Sasori was empty. The blond looked around to find Itachi as he heard suddenly something that sounded like faint cursing. Crawling over the little red head to the other side Deidara looked down from the bed. **_

"_**Itachi, why are you sleeping on the ground un?" the blond asked as Itachi sat up and put his arms on the bed.**_

"_**Because your beloved Danna kicked me out of my own bed." Itachi hissed.**_

"_**Itachi…" Deidara suddenly gasped.**_

"_**What is it?"**_

"_**You are jealous at Sasori no Danna." The blond said while making the Uchiha blush.**_

"Ohh…a love triangle." Hidan said before he was struck from the right fist of said triangle members.

Looking down againa t the book Deidara groaned as he stared up at the ceiling.

"No again un…"

"_**I…I don't know what you are ta…hpmf…" but suddenly two soft lips covered his. It was like they first kiss not passionate or lust filled, but longing and soft. After they pulled away the blond climbed down from the bed and pulled the Uchiha out of the room.**_

_**Sasori didn't notice this and everyone other was also sleeping. On this night the others also decided o sleep here, mostly because they needed to find out what it means if a chibi-turned-Leader-sama get a hold o his own summoning scrolls and after some intense chasing, panic and getting scolded from a three years old was chibi Pein now sleeping smiling while he rested his little body against his chameleon chimera.**_

"Aww…" most members coed at they Leader's embarrassment.

_**They also found out on that day that saying the word dentist **_

Hidan suddenly screamed and sat at the moment in his partner's lap, hugging him with an iron grip while the other didn't know just how to react to THAT reaction from his partner, the others decided not to ask.

_**will make Hidan look scared and a scared Hidan equals with a rather pissed on Kakuzu which also equals with lots of pain for five certain males.**_

"If they are still alive then they can feel themselves lucky." Kisama said to Zetsu who nodded in agrement.

_**Kotetsu, Gai, Genma, Kakashi and Asuma would have never thought that a three years old could be so violent if it comes to the fact that they made his partner cry. Well Kotetsu know that chibi Kakuzu could be dangerous if angered, but this time it was much worse. After getting literally trashed the watched as**_

Deidara suddenly looked up while grinning evily.

"At least I'm not the only one getting tormented un…" he said.

_**the boy walked up to the still scared Hidan and hugged the pale boy while whipping away a five tears, black tentacles wrapping tenderly around his body.**_

At this Kakuzu blushed and without his mask ev eryone could see it perfectly.

_**When Deidara and Itachi passed the children's bedroom they noticed ho Konan slowly climbed out of her bed with her blue blanket and lied down beside Pein, pulling the blanket over both of them.**_

"_**Deidara where are we going?" Itachi asked after a while.**_

"_**I want to go on the roof." The blond said.**_

_**After they finally reached they destination both sat down and looked up at the starry night sky.**_

"_**Isn't this beautiful?" Itachi only nodded.**_

"_**You come rather often up here at this time of the night." The Uchiha said suddenly, making the blond on his side look at him with wide eyes.**_

"_**Ho…how I you know?" the blond artist asked.**_

"_**I heard you sneaking past my room." Was he simple answer.**_

"_**And how come you were awake at that time?" Deidara asked suspiciously. **_

Deidara's eyes suddenly widened as he threw hymself back as he broke out int o hysterical laughter. Pain walked over to him and picked the book up reading the part which made the artist start laughing.

"_**Kisame often dreams that he is in the sea and because the wall separating our rooms is rather thin I can hear him '**__**swimming'." **__**Itachi said annoyed. He really had sometimes the feeling that the floor under Kisame's bed would break and he would land with it right on the kitchen table. It was really annoying.**_

Now was the whole Akatsuki laughing hysterically while Konan tryed to hold back her laughter and Kisame blushed and tryed to use Zetsu's jutsu and sin kin to the ground.

After nearly twenty minutes calmed everyone down.

"_**Oh, you poor thing." The blond said as he gave the other a kiss on the check.**_

_**Anko woke up to the sound of someone sneezing beside here. Looking down grogingly to her side she noticed Kisame sitting her while rubbing his nose.**_

"_**Hey Kisame-kun, it is really late you should sleep now." She said as she pulled the child closer and lay down again in the soft sheets.**_

Konan smiled at this happily and Kisame had a strange feeling by her smile while Pain sighed.

_**Meanwhile back on the roof Itachi noticed that the blond artist was shivering lightly from the cold night breeze. Deidara tensed as suddenly two strong arms wrapped around his body and pulled him against a firm chest.**_

"_**Are you cold?" Itachi's dark voice asked which reminded the blond on black silk brushing against naked skin. He should really tell Itachi to buy silk sheets or talk to him more then his voice really tuned him on.**_

"_**Not anymore un…" Deidara whispered as he snuggled closer to the black head, listening to his soft heartbeat.**_

_**They still have some hard days in font of them till the jutsu's effect wears off…**_

"Finally, Leader-sama your turn un." Deidara said as he handed Pain the book.

_To be continued…_


	10. What the Hell

X. What the Hell, _Why you should always lock the cupboard door…_

* * *

Pain looked down at the book after Hidan finally noticed to just where he sat and started a cursing trip after jumping up and backing in to the corner. He was rally starting to feel again as the leading doctor of a sanatorium.

As his grey Rinnegan eyes scanned ove the title they widened imediately.

"Why do I have a strange feeling by the title…" he said.

"Pain just read it." said Konan.

"_**Why you should always lock the cupboard door…**_"

"…"

_**It was two days later after that peaceful night that Tsunade and the others decided that the two remaining Akatsuki really need a day to relax after seeing and feeling what they need to go through since they commerades were turned in to children.**_

"That is nice un."

_**Ebisu, Kotetsu, Kakashi and Gai were left behind to keep one eye on the kids. **_

"Great a closet pervert, three idiots and a guy with an ego problem." Itachi said.

"_**So my youthful friends would you like uncle Gai to play with you?" Gai asked while flashing a smile at the eight chibis who sat on the couch.**_

"_**Erm…Gai, I think they don't want you to play with them."**_

"_**And how do you want to know this Kakashi?" the Green Beast asked.**_

"_**Well I think even a bind could tell that." Kotetsu said as he scratched the side of his head.**_

"_**Hmm…?" Gai now finally turned to the couch and sweatdropped.**_

_**There on the couch sat eight wide eyed chibis shaking and holding tightly to each other.**_

"_**Wow, you scared them, the girls and two certain Akatsuki will kill you for that one." Kakashi said.**_

_**It was three hours later that all four man sat together in the kitchen, sipping they tea.**_

"_**It is so peaceful." Said Gai.**_

"_**To peaceful if you ask me." Kotetsu said as he stood up to fill himself a new cup of tea as his foot suddenly hit something. The black haired ninja looked down and the picked the object up from the ground. Suddenly his eyes widened and his jaw fell. **_

Pain also started gapping.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"What is wrong?" Konan asked.

"_**Gu…guys…I…I think we have a problem…erm…the…THE KIDS DRUNK ALL OF TSUNADE'S SAKE!!" he screamed and suddenly everyone spit his tea out.**_

"Idiots…"

"_**WHAT!!"**_

"_**All the eighty bottles are empty…" Kotetsu said.**_

"_**So that means that probably all eight drunk at least ten bottles of sake." Ebisu said.**_

"Oh dear…" said Konan while putting her hands in front of her mouth.

"How wounderfull…" Sasori kommented, he had an absolutely low alcohol tolerance.

"Now that will work out great…" Kisame said groaning.

"**Tobi is **not allwed to drink alcohol." Zetsu said.

"_**Urg…we need to find them, they are lready sober walking catastrophes." And now were all four of them searching for the probably full drunk chibis.**_

"If something happens…"

_**It was three other hours later that the others returned. It was strangely quiet in the house. **_

"_**We are back un!" Deidara called out. "Where is everyone?"**_

_**Suddenly Ebisu stepped in front of them, looking slightly nervous.**_

"_**Ebisu, what is behind you back?" asked Kurenai suspicious.**_

"_**Wha…what?" the man said as he desperately tried to hold something behind his black.**_

"_**Are you sure…?" Anko asked.**_

"_**Ye…yes AAAHHHH!!" Ebisu yelled suddenly from pain and held his aching hand.**_

_**Suddenly chibi Kisame run past him or better said stumbled past him to Anko.**_

"_**Erm…Kisame-kun, are you ok? And why the heck have you a**_

"Kisame…" said Pain in a dangerously low tone which made the shak like nin cower behind his partner.

_**deep red slip on your head?" she asked as he picked up the slightly flushed child up.**_

"Isn't that one of mine?" Konan asked stunned.

_**Deidara then also suddenly felt someone tip against his leg. Looking down he noticed Tobi. Picking the hiccupping child up the blond pulled his mask a little bit up and sniffed his breath. His eyes suddenly darkening.**_

"_**Who dared to give them alcohol…" he hissed in a tone which even made Sasuke grab his brother's arm in panic.**_

"_**I…Itachi…wha…what is ha…happening…" he asked shaking a bit in fear.**_

"_**His mother instincts are kicking in again." Was Itachi's answer.**_

_**WWEEEHHHEEYYY!!**_

_**Everyone stopped they movements.**_

"_**What was that?" Asked Ino.**_

_**WWEEEHHHEEYYY!!**_

Pain suddenly stoppd reading and stared gapping at the book, a deep blush on his checks.

"Erm…Leader-sama?"

"…"

"Let me see that." Konan said sighing as she took the book.

"_**Only our leader who plays Tarzan naked in front of the window…and now if you excuse me." And with that Itachi walked outside.**_

She finished gigling while the others only shook they heads and Pain come finally back so he continued.

_**Everyone stared out of the window where you could still see a naked chibi swishing around happily while Itachi tried to grab him, but failed. After then tries he managed to catch him, but then everyone heard a loud cracking noise and a faint curse from a certain blackhead as th branch he was standing at broke down.**_

"_**ITACHI!" yelled a panicked blond as he pushed Tobi in Shizune's arms and run outside to his lover.**_

_**After some minutes come all three inside Pain giggling while Deidara was helping Itachi to walk inside. To say that most Konoha ninjas stared wide eyed at the scene, but mostly at the blond who looked so caring at the black haired man who was one emotionless murderer.**_

"_**Where are the other kids?" asked Itachi as he was let go again.**_

_**As if one cue stumbled chibi Zetsu inside shortly followed by Kotetsu who was chasing him, but as the chibi made a bow around Sasuke well Kotetsu wasn't that lucky and he crashed accidentally against the boy and made him collapse.**_

_**There was suddenly deep silence…**_

"Great, Uchiha incest." Hidan commented.

"_**I really don't know, should I squell like a fan girl or be jealous un?"**_

"I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT UN!"

_**Everyone nodded at that. Two dark eyes widened in panic and jumped away from each other.**_

"_**I think I will throw up…."**_

"_**Oh please Sasuke, you kissed Naruto…" Itachi hissed as he made gagging noises, face slightly green.**_

"_**First of all that was an freaking accident second YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" Sasuke was fully green. When Kotetsu crashed against him he crashed right on his brother, lips crushing together.**_

_**After both stood up and Itachi was on his way over to Deidara as suddenly the front door broke together **_

"THAT DOOR WAS EXPENSIVE!" Kakuzu yelled.

_**and a blur of black, white and purple flew inside with a rather high speed, crashing against Itachi and sending both of them against the wall. When the smoke cleared everyone looked to the damaged door where Kakuzu was standing, tentacles swishing angrily as he held a whimpering chibi Jashinist in his arms. Then they all turned to Itachi and the **__**'thing'**__** and suddenly everyone paled or turned green.**_

"_**And now I don't know if I should laugh, feel sympathy or throw up." Said Sasuke.**_

"I'm for the later option." Said Pain looking slightly green.

_**That **__**'thing'**__** was no one other then Orochimaru, who made the BIG mistake to touch Hidan. Now was said unfaithful snake laying on top of a certain Uchiha with they lips touching.**_

Everyone shuddered and let out a collective 'eewww'.

"Why me…" Itachi groaned as suddenly to everyones surprise Deidara was surrounded by a dark, frightening aura.

"How dare that little…" and then followed a few words which evn made Hidan blush or would have if he wouldn't be so scared.

"W…what i…is…with him…?" Hidan asked.

"Erm…I think we erm…see what Orochimaru faced…" Pain said.

_**Booths eyes were wide, but then Orochimaru suddenly felt a dark presence looming behind him, promising agony and suffering. Looking up both saw a REALLY angered looking blond male while flexing his knuckles, teeth clenched while eyes hidden in the shadows of golden hair.**_

"_**Orachimaru…" hissed a dark voice and suddenly everyone shook in fear.**_

"We know how you feel…" the Akatsuki members said.

"_**Wow…that boy is even scarier then you Tsunade." Jiraiya said while hiding behind said woman.**_

"_**Urgh…" was the only thing before he was grabbed by the collar.**_

_**Suddenly everyone shut they eyes and turned he kids with them away. Even two certain Uchihas turned away from the violent scene. Well Anko was one exception she told Kisame that they are playing a game, who can hold his eyes the longest time shut wins one ice, and while the chibi held his eyes shut with his blue little hands, Anko was busy taping the torturing and beating of her ex-sensei while grinning. Kabuto will be busy healing him for a whole month and then two more months will need to pass until Orochimaru can do as much to move his little finger.**_

"_**And don't even dare to touch him EVER again un…." Deidara yelled as he threw out something which could be hardly recogrinaised as a human, a puddle pudding or gelatin, the last two mean partly the consistence of what Deidara threw out.**_

"Erm…nice…"

Deidara also calmed down finally and looked confused at his panicked friends.

"What un?" he asked innocently while the others facefoulted.

_**After he finished he wrapped his arms protectively around the other's waist and sent everyone an "he-is-mine-dare-to-ouch-him-and-you-will-suffer-the-same-faith-as-him-un" look.**_

"_**Wow, your bother has some strange taste." Kakashi whispered to Sasuke.**_

"_**You tell me…" was the answer.**_

"_**Uhm…Deidara…?"**_

"_**Yes Itachi?" the blond asked while smiling warmly at the black head which made everyone sweatdropp.**_

"_**And now I thought that I have some worse mod swings on my time of the month." Said Kurenai.**_

"_**Where exactly is Sasori…" the Uchiha asked while hiding behind the blond who looked at him confused.**_

"_**I don't know, but why are you hiding behind me un?"**_

"_**Because if it comes to Sasori, you are the safest place on this planet."**_

"_**Erm…thanks un."**_

"_**Wow, by the way Itachi what exactly did you do to have that little one hate you THAT much?" asked Genma.**_

"_**I'm hiding behind the ground…why?" Itachi asked.**_

"_**Well because there he is with some nice weaponry." The other said and everyone stared wide eyed at the kitchen door in which's front little Sasori stood grinning at Itachi while holding with his chakra strings a nice amount of knifes, shuriken, throwing stars and Sameshada together with Itachi's katana. "Deidara, when they are all back to normal I swear you that you can say bye to your partner for sure…" and with that Itachi begun to run.**_

"Who reads next?" Pain asked as he suddenly remembered something and trust the book over to Sasori. "Your turn." He said smiling.

_To be continued…_


	11. An old friend

XI. An old friend, _About hangovers, sweets and old friends_

* * *

Sasori took the book while watching Itachi from the corner of his eyes, he was sure as Hell not willing to get murdered by the Uchiha now that was for sure. Looking down at book in his hands he quickly read over the title with an arched eyebrow.

"_**About hangovers, sweets and old friends**__" _he read.

"With ten bottles sake that is really no wonder." Pain commented with his blush still present on his checks, he was seriously loosing face in front of the organization.

"I'm more interested int he last part of the title." Sasori commented back, since they all become Akatsuki he doubted they had to many friends left beside each other.

"I think we will find out in the book." Konan said smiling.

"True." Itachi said while looking at Sasori who glumped nervously and quickly started reading.

_**On the next morning were all eight chibis in a foul mode, **_

"As already pointed out no wonder." Hidan said.

_**but they hurting tummies and little heads were not as worse as they four babysitters who got the beating of they lives and were now looking like mummies after getting the beating of the lives.**_

"They deserved it." Said both Konan and Deidara in union.

"Moter instints." Whispered Kisame to the other males who nodded.

_**Deidara was cleaning at the moment a suddenly someone knocked on the door. The blond looked away from dusting and walked up to the door.**_

"_**Who could that be un, it is to early for everyone to return?" he said as he opened the door. When he opened it he was suddenly standing in front of a young woman with long black hair which ended in silver strains. Her eyes were a strange mix from emerald and violet. "Erm…can I help you un?"**_

Sasori looked up confused as suddenly Kisame broke out in a huge grin and jumped up.

"RIA!" he yelled excitedly.

"So you know that woman?" Pain asked as Kisame settled down.

"Yep, her name is Riako Matekeshi…" he started, but was interupted by Kakuzu.

"I have heard about the Matekeshi clan they are said to be the best swordfighters and also excelent healers who created the legendary jutsi _Thenshi no Kokoro_ which can even heal a heart and make it beat when the owner is since two hours death." Kakuzu said.

"Yes her father was the jonin assigned to create the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist so I can garantue about that her father was who thought me how to fight with a sword and his father was the creator of Shameshade." Kisame said fondly.

"So she is a rather powerfull ninja." Pain said.

"Yes she is also rather nice and kind expect if you manage to get her angry then is the only thing a person can do and that is running for they lives, on of her specialityes is to combine her chakra scalpel with her sword or her families special genjutsu." Kisame explained.

"My father told me once about that jutsu it is called _Touch of the Goddess of Death_, there was no one who could survive that genjutsu they all died from horror." Itachi explained.

"Yes." Kisame said nodded, he saw Riako's aunt once performing that jutsu when he was still a genin and they were attacked.

"Now that this is settled Sasori continue." Pain said while making a mental note to send Kisame out to get that woman to join Akatsuki.

"_**Hay, you must be Deidara." She said.**_

"_**Uhm…yes."**_

"_**Let me guess, Sharky forgot to tell you guys hat he invited me over." She said in one annoyed tone.**_

Everyone turned to Kiam who blushed.

"What? That was my nickname." He said.

"_**Erm…Sharky? You mean Kisame told you were our hideout is?"**_

"_**Yes, my name is Riako, I was with Kisame in the same class and later were we in the same genin team." She said.**_

"_**Wow, Kisame didn't tell us that you would come or he didn't come to that…" Deidara said.**_

"_**Did something happen to him, oh wait, Hiashi told me that his nephew and older daughter are here to help out as long as the fifths jutsu doesn't wear of." She said and Deidara only gapped.**_

"How does she…"

"If she doesn't explain in her next line then I will." Kisame said.

"Yes she explains." Said Sasori.

"_**Don't look at me like that, I met Hiashi and Hizashi Hyuuga before I got in Kiri to the Academy and unknown to everyone we always told each other the recent happenings in our villages."**_

"Met them also a few times it was always interesting." Kisame said and the others choose not to ask.

"_**Wow really? Oh right come inside." And with that both walked inside and begun to talk.**_

_**Deidara found it really funny to hear that Kisame once **_

Saori suddenly looked up with an amused smile on his lips.

"Please Ria, don't tell them anything embarassing…" Kisame whined.

"To late." Sasori answered grinning.

_**tried to make waffles, but ended up having all of them stuck to the ceiling.**_

At this everyone bust out laughing, but Sasori suddenly stopped as he read the next part.

"Erm…Kisame." He said and read the next part.

_**He was also stunned when he found out that the young woman was also one artist with a rather unique jutsu which he found in a way tempting.**_

"Ah that yes her option about art is really something interesting plus her jutsu with which she can express it." Kisame said as he was suddely thrown to the ground with both of they Artists sitting on his and staring down at him. "Erm…I will explain after we have read the book and she doesn't explain…" Kisame said nervously as Deidara and Sasori sat back down and he could also sit up sighing in relief.

_**It was one hour later that Itachi walked downstairs and looked confused at the scene.**_

"_**Ah, you must be Itachi, the one who killed his own clan and is now Kisame's partner." Riako said smiling. **__**'Kisame is really fond of the boy, even if he is much younger then he is, he respects him.'**__** She thought.**_

"Thanks." Kisame heard Itachi whisper to him.

"_**Ugh…" Itachi felt rather confused.**_

"_**Hay Itachi, this is Riako, Kisame's friend." Deidara explained while grinning at the Uchiha which the other couldn't place in meaning.**_

"_**Hay…"**_

"Typical." Sasori said.

"_**Hey you two, while others are away we could make something for them, I have lust for cake." Deidara suddenly said and not even waiting for one answer dragged the two with him in the kitchen.**_

_**Now that one could get messy…**_

"Definiately." The whole organization said.

_**After dragging both in the kitchen Deidara let go of them and begun to throw different types of cooking books at them. **_

"_**Deidara, do you even think that this is such a good idea?" Itachi asked after catching the sixth book thrown at him.**_

"_**Sure, it will be fun un. That would make the others happy and let them forget they hangovers un."**_

"_**Erm…aren't Kisame and the other members of your organization three years old again?" Riako asked confused as she catched one other book.**_

"_**Well technically yes, but after letting them with four idiots of the good side they found the fifth's sake ration which she hid here from her two pupils and well yesterday we needed to take care of eight full drunk chibis un." Deidara said as he moved with the seven books in his arms a bit away from the regal and sat down on the ground and opening the first one.**_

"_**Well, even if Sasori was also full, that little psychopath still tried to kill me." Itachi growled.**_

Sasori read with a groan as he threw a nervous glance at the Uchiha again.

"_**Erm, what did you do? After what Kisame has written me I got the feeling that Sasori is more of the serious type who only fights if he really needs to do it." Riako said.**_

"Or if he is three years old." Hidan said grinning, but Sasori ignored him.

"_**The ground is sitting right in front of us." Itachi said.**_

"_**Oh, cute a love triangle." She said, ignoring the Uchiha's death glare. "So which cake should it be?"**_

"She is absolutely unfazed by Diva's glare." Hidan said shocked.

"She isn't the type to back away from anyone." Kisame said, his best friend always knew when a situation was dangerous for her or not.

_**After one hour of reading through the books the trio stood between the two options; '**__**Death by chocolate cake'**__** and '**__**Strawberry Chocolate Mousse Cake'**__**. After some debating they decided to do the second one.**_

"_**So now that is settled let us begin un!" the blond artist yelled enthusiastically and threw a fist in the air.**_

"_**Ok, I will see what we need." Riako said and Itachi only sighed. This couldn't end good.**_

"_**Is something wrong Itachi?" Deidara asked.**_

"_**Nothing." Was the short reply.**_

"_**So, we will need;**_

_**1 cup (about 5 ounces) chocolate cookie or chocolate graham cracker crumbs  
3 tablespoons melted butter or margarine  
2 pint baskets California strawberries, stemmed and halved  
2 cups (12 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips  
1/2 cup water  
2 tablespoons light corn syrup  
2 1/2 cups whipping cream, divided  
1 tablespoon sugar " **_

"_**Ok, I found the butter, sugar and whipped cream un." Deidara said while he looked through the fridge and the cupboards.**_

"Isn't that strange that we have atleast three boxes of whipped cream?" Hidan asked and both Pain and Konan blushed while hoping that non of the others noticed.

"_**I think we lack on strawberries." Itachi said.**_

"_**I will work on that." Riako said as she bit in her finger, drawing blood and drawing a summoning seal. "I need your help my friends." At that smoke filled the kitchen, when it cleared eight crows appeared. **_

"Her clan was always in contract with the crows and signed the contract every time as new family member was born." Kisame explained.

"_**How can we help you Riako?" the crow with a blue band bound around his neck asked. **_

"_**I need you to fly out and fill these four bags with strawberries." She said and handed them four bags.**_

"_**Roger Riako." Said the bird saluting and they flew of.**_

"_**While they are away we should start with the baking." The black haired woman suggested.**_

"_**So, what do we need to do first?" Itachi asked.**_

"_**Let me see." Riako said as she picked the book up again. "Ah here it is. In a bowl, mix crumbs and butter to blend thoroughly. Press evenly onto bottom of 9-inch springform or cheesecake pan. Stand strawberry halves, touching, side-by-side, pointed ends up with cuts sides against side of pan. Set aside. Ok we skip that one as long as we don't get the fruits." The other two nodded and the cooking begun.**_

_**After the crows returned they started baking. While doing this they had got whipped cream, corn syrup and choco chips everywhere and on each other. Well the first part was easy, but as everyone could see none of the tree could bake properly.**_

"Well she can make some things, but cakes…erm she needs practice…" Kisame said remembering the "Cake-accident".

"_**Erm… what now un?" Deidara asked as he licked butter from his fingers.**_

"_**Place chocolate chips in blender container. In small saucepan over medium heat, mix water and corn syrup; bring to boil and simmer 1 minute. Immediately pour over chocolate chips and blend until smooth. Cool to room temperature."**_

"_**Ok un. Erm…the flames don't want to go on." Deidara said.**_

"_**Let me see." Itachi said. "Aha, the gas wasn't turned on properly. Kakuzu and his greediness."**_

"Be carefull what you say Uchiha…" Kakuzu growled.

"_**Erm…Itachi…I would pull away if I were you." Riako said as suddenly a gigantic fire errupted.**_

"_**What the…" was the only thing the shocked and smoking Uchiha could get out.**_

"_**I think the flames got suddenly to much gas un…"**_

"_**So I noticed…" Itachi said as Deidara was cleaning his face carefully with a black cloth.**_

"_**You two know that you look really cute together." Riako said smiling and both blushed. "But we should continue now. Ok the instructions say that meanwhile, in large mixer bowl, beat 1 1/2 cups of the cream to form stiff peaks. With rubber spatula, fold cooled chocolate into whipped cream to blend thoroughly. Pour into prepared pan; level top. Points of strawberries might extend above chocolate mixture. Cover and refrigerate 4 to 24 hours. Up to 2 hours before serving, in medium mixer bowl, beat remaining one cup cream to form soft peaks. Add sugar; beat to form stiff peaks. Remove side of pan; place cake on serving plate. Using a Pastry Bag with a star tip pipe or dollop whipped cream onto top of cake. Arrange remaining halved strawberries on whipped cream. To serve, cut into wedges with knife, wiping blade between cuts."**_

"_**Ok, that means that we are soon ready, hopefully." Itachi said.**_

"Seeing a show Itachi's cooking looks like I would say we also hope that they are soon ready and that the kitchen survives." Pain mumbled to himself.

_**So they followed the instructions which lead to the nearly explosion of the kitchen at least ten times, firstly because of the oven and secondly because Deidara got frustrated with the chocolate and the cream from which the half landed accidentally on Itachi's head. Then they almost burned the cake, but after some tiresome hours they were finally ready and were now laying exhausted, messy and sticky on the kitchen table. **_

_**Ten minutes later they heard the front door open and everyone walked inside.**_

"_**Hey guys we are back!" Anko called out.**_

"_**In the kitchen un…" come Deidara's voice out of the kitchen.**_

_**As they walked inside the kitchen they noticed the great mess and the three nins.**_

"_**Erm…what happened here and who is she?" Anko asked as the three stood up.**_

"_**Oh I'm Riako. Hey Sharky, when you get back to normal we need to speak about why you didn't tell your friends that you invited me." Riako said as she put a finger on chibi Kisame's nose. It was strange, but Anko suddenly felt a pang of jealousy when the blue skinned boy giggled at the other woman. **__**'How do the two know each other and how close are they?' **__**she thought.**_

"Wow, two love triangles at the same time." Hidan said before dodging the others attacks.

"_**We will get cleaned up and then go rest. And from today on the one who dares to suggest me to bake a cake ever again in my live that person is already as good as death…" Itachi growled as he left the kitchen.**_

"_**CAME!!" the eight chibis yelled happily and threw themselves at the cake on the table.**_

"_**Hey, I want some to!" Naruto yelled as he joined the fight for the cake.**_

"_**Oh look they even made a cake special for us four." said Gai touched as he noticed a second cake with they names on it.**_

"_**Wow, and I thought they were still mad at us for yesterday." Kakashi said.**_

Everyone stared now confused at the book as suddenly they faces cracked int o evel grins.

"_**Well it looks that they re not mad at us." Ebisu said as he begun to eat.**_

_**After finishing they cakes Ebisu, Kotetsu, Kakashi and Gai suddenly felt strange. They stomachs hurt terribly and nausea took over them.**_

"_**Uhm…are you four ok?" asked Tsunade looking worried. The four didn't answer only turned greener as Gai's and Lee's spandex suits and dashed to the nearest bathroom.**_

_**When they run to the bathroom they passed Itachi and Deidara who were grinning as they passed them.**_

"_**They deserved that." Itachi said grinning.**_

"_**I agree about that, it was a good idea to put that medicine in the cake un." The blond artist said.**_

_**When the two went in one of the three bathrooms together they didn't notice that they were followed. A little shadow was slowly sneaking up to the door.**_

"Sasori I think you are to young at the moment to watch that." Konan said to the blushing redhead.

"_**Where do you think you are going?" the little hand stopped only inches from the door as he was suddenly picked up. "Let me guess, you are Sasori." Riako said as se turned away with the child from the door. She got herself already clean.**_

"_**Len me no…" Sasori tried to get out of her arms, but to no veil.**_

"_**Not such a chance Sasori-kun, let the two be if they are happy." She said softly as she stroke through the child's messy red hair. Sasori stopped wiggling around and looked with sad eyes at the young woman.**_

"And that won't help to get her to put you down Sasori." Kisame commented. "She can stand pleading looks rather long…"

"Ugh…" Sasori suddenly groaned.

"Well are you doing something with _Shary's _friend or are we getting a free peek at Diva and Barbie?" Hidan asked before he found his mouth shawen shut…again…

_**Meanwhile were Deidara and Itachi doing everything except getting clean under the shower and**_

"The later one…" Sasori said.

_**in one other bathroom were four certain Konoha ninjas still kneeling in front of the toilets and throwing up. **_

"_**I…ugh…I thi…think they a…are still mad a…at us…" Kotetsu managed to say before needing to lean down again as an other wave of nausea washed over him.**_

_**The others only nodded pained and threw up again.**_

"The chapter is done who reads next?" Sasori asked.

"I will." Kisame said happily as he took the book from the redhead.

_To be continued… _


	12. Anger

A/N: if you have read Babisitting Chaos you know what comes if not then this is a warning that this part has mentions about something that is not right and is heavily punished by law…A/N: if you have read Babisitting Chaos you know what comes if not then this is a warning that this part has mentions about something that is not right and is heavily punished by law…

XII. Anger, _Horror stories and dark pasts_

* * *

Kisame looked down at the book smiling. Riako was there and she was fine, two years after he left Kiri he had managed to get on hold with her again it seemed hat if he wanted to talk with her he needed to send a crow then they always found her with his massages, he would need to invite her to met his family they would surely like her and Konan would be delighted about the female company.

"The next title is _**Horror stories and dark pasts."**_ At this looked everyone down at the title becouse whose dark past is the second part about?

_**On the next day went everything the same day as the others. Standing up, feeding the chibi terrors, living through an other '**__**Great Akatsuki Food War', **__**getting them bathed and getting wet, but something unexpected happened. Sasori was not threatening Itachi's live or most of all a certain part of his anatomy…**_

This made everyone courious and Kisame smirked.

"He he, if Akino could not do any mischief then you have absolutely no chance Sasori." He said.

_**Ground for this was nothing other then that Riako keep one eye on the young redhead so she or her cows were every time there to keep the young redhead away from Itachi, much to said Uchiha's happiness, he already swore himself that he would give Kisame a big hug for inviting her over to them, after he gets normal again.**_

At this the whole Akatsuki started snickering expect the two blushing partners and Hidan who desperately wanted to comment, but with his mouth shawed shut had no cance again.

_**Said redhead was also at this time sitting pouting on the grass while Kisame was giggling and trying to catch the white butterfly which was flying around him. Riako was sitting at the moment also on the ground with a drawing tablet in her lap,**_

"Ah yes both her mother and she were lways rather tallented in drawing and painting you really should have seen some of her works it is as if the pictures were alive." Kisame commented.

_**her right hand working carefully on the white paper. After some minutes of pouting Sasori noticed that Kisame stopped playing with the little butterfly and instead he walked over to Riako and crawled halfly in her lap to see what she was doing.**_

"_**Hey Sharky." Riako said smiling as the blue skinned boy looked curious at that what she was doing and clapped his little hands happily. "You always liked when I was drawing or painting." Kisame looked up at her smiling. At that got Sasori also curious and crawled also halfly in the young woman's lap to see what Kisame found so interesting.**_

_**His little eyes widened when he saw the picture about one of Zetsu's rear blue rose bushes. The picture resembled the original perfectly and the painted roses looked full of live.**_

"_**Premmy…" Sasori said stunned as he felt her hands again stroking through his hair.**_

Sasori suddenly noticed that Kisame glanced up at him before continuing, making the Puppet Master shiver.

"_**Arigatou Sasori-kun." She said smiling while watching both boys looking admiringly at the picture so she didn't notice Anko who come out of the house with a tray with drinks and sandwiches.**_

_**As she saw Kisame by Riako the young woman felt again a pang of jealousy and begun to grip the tray so hard that her hands turned white. After biting a bit hard down her under lip she cleared her throat to get the trios attention.**_

Kisame ignored his friends grins for the shake of reading.

"_**Oh, hay Anko-san" Riako greeted the young woman happily who on the other hand set up a forced smile.**_

"_**Hay Riako-san, I brought you three a little snack." She said smiling when she noticed chibi Kisame running up to her.**_

_**After two minutes sat both woman and children on the ground and were eating and drinking.**_

"_**Ah, Anko-san."**_

"_**Yes?" Anko asked while taking a big bite from his sandwich.**_

"_**You don't need to hide that you hate me." Riako said while taking a sip from her drink while Anko nearly cocked on her sandwich.**_

"_**Wa…what…?" she asked shocked, but Riako only laughed amused.**_

"_**Don't look a me so startled I learned a long time ago to red out of the eyes of the people around me if they like, fear or hate me." She said.**_

"_**We…well I…I think the Hokage called me…ye…yes and you shouldn't let her wait…" and with that she run inside.**_

"_**Strange, I thought I heard Naruto call for you." She said.**_

"…"

"Well back in Kiri even if she was part of an addmired and respected clan most people didn't want to near her, they had something against her eyes I never understood that."

_**Back inside needed the violet haired jounin to breath heavily. **_

"_**That was close…now I really need to find out more about her and how deep her relationship with Kisame is." She said, not even carrying why she was so determined to find out just how deep the relationship between the two ex-class and team mates really was.**_

"We are only friends." Said Kisame huriedly, face flushed.

_**On that evening Naruto bluntly suggested that they should make a camp fire outside and tell horror stories. Strangely everyone agreed about this, even the two Uchiha's found the idea tempting.**_

"I always enjoyed good horror stories." Itachi said.

Kisame suddenly yelped in fear.

"That IS scarry…" he said while everyone stared confused at him.

_**So everyone was sitting outside, even the chibis. Anko finished her story about her ex-sensei at four in the morning without make-up and his hair combed. **_

"I saw him like that, know what she means…" Sasori said while everyone shuddered.

_**At that everyone moved closer together at the mental image. After that she could chose who the next story teller should be.**_

"_**Hmm…what about you Riako?" Anko asked.**_

"_**Me, well I could tell one story." She said.**_

"_**Yea, that would be great un." Deidara said excited.**_

"_**Ok, hmm…which one should I tell." She asked herself out loud and begun to think. While she did that used Anko the time to sneak back inside and headed direct for Riako's room.**_

"She knows a few good ones."

_**After entering the room she saw all the books, scrolls and pictures in the room. Sneaking up to her desk she noticed a closed chest. Picking it up the found the key hidden in an other little box and opened it. Looking inside she noticed a little book. **_

_**Opening it is noticed that it was a diary. She knew that it was wrong, but she needed answers. The first pages were the writing about a young girl who was very lonely because except her family everyone minded her;**_

"_**I don't understand it, what could I have done that beside my family no one likes me. They fear me, mostly because my eyes. I hate them, but my father tells me every time that I shouldn't shame that I'm something unique, but…it still hurts that I'm so alone. Is a honest smile really such a big wish…?" **_

The Akatsuki members nodded in understatement, they would have been happy to feel what it means to have someone on your side who cares for you, but the adults turned deaf to they cries of pain, they cries to be saved, they ignored the outstreched little hand holding out to them.

_**Meanwhile back outside… **_

"_**So the story wears the title **__**'The Lady in the Green Dress'.**__**" She said and everyone begun to listen. Unknown to everyone were Kimimaro and Tayuya who were hiding behind a bush for observation also listening.**_

"_**Wow, that sounds interesting." Said Tenten.**_

"_**The story plaid two hundred years ago. One day a young woman fell in love with her husband a rich salesman, but he didn't even send her a glance. She tried everything, new dresses, jewelry, make-up, but nothing helped. As only still existing result she went to a fortune teller who told her to go in the cemetery and break there the branch of a dead tree down and some grass. Then she sould go down to the river and sit on the rock which was in the middle of it. She did what she was told. As she sat there in the cold night she had the feeling that she was surrounded by laughter and that cold hands would rip on her clothes, then she fainted…"**_

"Ugh…now I remember this one." Kisame said shuddering.

_**In the same time by Anko… **_

_**She was still reading. After some more pages the writing changed, an stead of the writing of a lonely girl it was now the writing of a girl who finally found friends. She nearly dropped the book when she read the names.**_

"_**Now that is something I would have never thought…" she whispered.**_

"_**I'm so happy, but a bit sad at the same time. Some days ago we went on a diplomatic mission to Konoha and there I met two boys, the twins Hizashi and Hiashi Hyuuga. Even if we were together for only one day, we still become friends. I'm writing them every second day and they write me to. And two days ago when I started the Academy I finally found a friend. His name is Kisame Hoshigaki, the others fear him because he looks like a human-shark, but I think that he is nice. **_

Kisame smiled at this.

_**Reading further she saw how deep the friendship of the two was, they were as close as brother and sister. But then after flipping one other page Anko let out a gasp…**_

"What did she find?" Konan asked.

"Don't know yet."

_**Back outside at the same time… **_

"…_**After she woke up she was dressed in the most beautiful green dress she ever saw. The young man fell immediately in love with her, but on the day they should get married felt the groom as a deathly cold creped though his bride's hand. Her eyes looked at him lifelessly, then the bride let out a blood curling scream and fell together. They brought her in the north tower and laid her on the bed which should have been they honeymoon bed. She never woke up again…Some people said that the elves who made her dress come to claim her live as theirs…" and with that ended Riako her story. "So what do you think?"**_

_**No one said a word, they were all hugging the other wide eyed and were shaking. Even Kimimaro and Tayuya were hugging in fear in they little hiding place. They wanted home and that **__**NOW. **_

Everyone shuddered, but then yumped in frigh as Kisame jumped up suddenly.

"_**WHAT!**_**" **he screamed in anger. "THAT SLIMY LITTLE BASTARD HAS NOW GONE TO FAR!" and with that he stormed out of the room int he direction of the weapon wault int he basement.

"What has gotten in to him?" Sasori asked as Konnan picked the book up and reading over the next page nearly dropping it as she gasped.

"Konan what is it?" Pain asked worriedly.

"I think I know why Kisame is so angry…" she said before taking a deep breath and reading the next part.

_**Back by Anko… **_

_**Anko's hands were shaking and she felt near vomiting. The next pages were all written in blood and what was written in there…She couldn't believe what was done to that young woman outside and she could still smile honestly. Anko felt suddenly guilty for being angry at her.**_

"…_**I feel so disgusted by myself. My body hurts and is cowered in dirt blood and…I already want to throw up again. My family is death, but atleast I could protect my mother and the other women in my family to be raped by those disgusting soldiers. The Mizukage will pay for this, even if I die by doing this. I can't forget what they did, the scars of they kunais will forever remind me on that night…" **_

"I can understand her…" Kakuzu said suddenly and everyone stared at him wide eyed as he stood up.

"What do you mean un?" Deidara asked worried.

"What do you think the jonin did to me who were sent by the Taki Kage to murder me before they stabbed me and sliced my body up on the places which are cowered in stiches now…" Kakuzu said silently as he turned back to the door and walked outside leaving everyone in the silence.

* * *

Down in the weapon room was Kisame at the moment picking up a few of they stronges weapons when he felt a presence behind him, he thought that it was Konan, but turned around surprised when he felt Kakuzu's chakra.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

"Taking you back upstairs to the others so that we can continue reading." The banker said calmly.

"READ WHY THAT SLIMY FILTH STUILL LIVES!" Kisame screamed.

"Yes, I think you have talked with her and read her acting int hat book, it hurts her, but she learned dealing with it rather quickly."

"Ah yes…" Kisame snapped.

"Yes, I needed one hundred years to not feel disgusted from myself." Kakuzu snapped back and Kisame suddenly froze.

"Wha…what…"

"As you can guess I went through something similar to her, what do you think my whole body is full of stiches, I would have died without my Kekkai Genkei." Kakuzu said in a pained tone. "Will you now come back upstairs?" he asked and Kisame nodded feeling now more clooser to the other nin.

* * *

Entering the living room again and sitting down both men were hugged by Konan, Hidan also scotted nearer to his partner, and only after she released them could Kisame read the next part which made him suddenly grin.

_**She looked a bit further.**_

"_**I took the form of a young woman and become the ethic-maid of the Mizukage's daughter. That slimy little fool. I went some time later with her to a farm and used my jutsu on her. She didn't evn notice it and stroke happily the animals I shoved her. Well nine moths later could the Mizukage take a look at his abnormal grandson born from his thirteen years old virgin daughter. **_

At this stared everyone gapping at her book while Kisame grinned.

"This is her art, the _Art of Creation._" Kisame said laughing while the other looked still shocked.

_**The only things which are keeping the live in me are the knowing that I get my revenge and that both Kisame and Zabuza left Kirigakure and were so safe. **_

_**Anko felt tears streaming down her checks. She felt guilty for looking in her past without her premission, for being angry at her. After putting everything on they places she walked outside to the others.**_

_**On her way swirled many questions in her head. How did she manage to live through all this? Did Kisame know? Probably not then he would already have killed everyone in Kiri.**_

The Akas all nodded at this.

_**After arriving by the others she sat down.**_

_**Now was it Itachi's turn and no one liked his grin…**_

"So who is reading next?" Kisame asked.

"I will read." Itachi said as he took the book from his partner while grinning.

_To be continued…_


	13. Scarry

XIII. Scarry, _Never challenge an Uchiha…_

* * *

No one liked that grin Itachi was giving them when he read over the title looking rather amused.

"How nice, _**Never challenge an Uchiha…**__**"**_ he read while the others exchanged uneasy glances.

_**Everyone shivered at Itachi's grin… **_

"Know how they feel…" the Akatsuki members whispered.

"_**As you wish, I will tell you a story, but after that we should go to sleep." He said and gestured to the chibis who were looking at him with tired eyes.**_

"_**Itachi is right un." Deidara said.**_

"_**Good if this is settled then, I will begin now." Itachi said as he looked at the others who had they gazes on him. "A young boy was on his way to school, he was late for his first class so he decided to use the sorter way by the old abounded school. As he passed the old building he suddenly had the feeling that he was being watched. Looking around in alert he noticed in one of the windows a girl who was looking down at him." Everyone was listening to the Uchiha's every word. "After this day used the boy every day this path and after a while he fell in love with the young girl who was every single day looking at him out of the schools window."**_

"_**And what is so scary about this?" Naruto asked.**_

"_**PSSS..." come it from everyone.**_

"_**On day he decided to skip school and go up to her to ask her for a date, but as he arrived in the abounded classroom he needed to realize in horror that she hand hung herself up two days before he used this route to get to school because her boyfriend cheated on her, death eyes looking out of the window." Itachi finished.**_

"_**You call that scary?" Kotetsu asked.**_

"_**Yes…." Whimpered meanwhile both Kimimaro and Tayuya on they hiding spot.**_

"I also agree." Pain whispered as he squezzed Konan's hand.

"_**Well then I could tell the story which caused our dear little Sasuke to sleep for at least two months in the bedroom of our parents." The older Uchiha said smirking while watching his little brother pale.**_

"_**I…Itachi…do…don't dare…" he said and suddenly looked everyone excited at the raven.**_

"Knew that I should read this chapter." Itachi said grinning again.

"_**Oh yes I will." He said and cleared his throat. "It happened long ago hat a family decided to make a camping trip together. Everyone was happy and the little place they found in the woods was beautiful, but it held a dark secret. On that evening woke the youngest member of the family up because someone was calling her. The little girl was six years old and as most children her age also curious. She crawled out of they dent and looked around in the darkness. Suddenly her blue eyes fell on a beautiful young woman in a pearl white dress.**_

"_**Come Mallory, let us play…"**__** she whispered and begun to walk down the little dirt path. The little girl followed her down the path to the lake.**_

_**On the next morning when the others woke up they immediately begun to search for the little girl, they looked for two hours and then they found her down by the little lake, her little body floating lifelessly in the crystal clear water."**_

_**Everyone listened to Itachi breathlessly, his voice sending shivers through they bodies, but not in a pleasant way. Behind the bush were two Sound nins hugging each other and shaking in fear. The chibis all cowered by Deidara, Riako and Anko, except chibi Hidan who crawled on the Uchiha's lap and looked at him excited, Kakuzu sitting near him and holding the mini Jashinist's little pale hand.**_

"_**The father fished his child's death body out of the lake and they went back to they dent. They would go back home tomorrow then it was starting to rain. It stopped as darkness begun to rise again. The four family members slept snuggled together as suddenly the second younger boy woke up to the sound of giggling. Slowly he crept out of the dent and looked around. Suddenly his yes widened as he saw his sister giggling and waving at him from beside a tree. He followed her deeper in the woods. On the next morning his parents and older brother searched for him everywhere, but he was no where to be found. The sun was already setting when they give up. Now wanted all three to return home immediately, but as the night come they were still walking in the woods, but every way they went lead them back to the camp. Suddenly the oldest boy noticed the woman in the white dress, smiling at him, a baby in her arms, but he couldn't see the child.**_

"_**Excuse me, but I got lost here in the woods, could you please help me?" **__**the woman asked.**_

"_**We got also lost here, you two should join us it is dangerous here." **__**The boy said and walked up to her.**_

_**The woman nodded smiling and thanked him. The young man looked at her, she was really beautiful, and then his eyes wandered down to the infant in her arms. Something was not right in his option, the cloth cowering the little body was not moving as if the child under it wouldn't breathe. Slowly he pulled the cloth up and stumbled back, eyes widening in horror. The infant was already a half rotting corpse with worms eating on the remainings of eyes and tongue.**_

Pain let out a panicked squek and was now sitting shivering in Konan's lap, most of the others looked also frightened, Itachi was to good in telling horror storyes with that deep silky voice of his.

"_**Why so afraid dear child…"**__** the woman asked sweetly holding her icy hand out and stroking the frightened boys check. Her touch felt like as if Death himself would stroke his face. **__**"Your siblings were not so frightened…" **__**she said and the boys eyes widened even more."**_

_**Everyone was now really cowering behind each other and Sasuke was already curled up in Sakura's lap and whimpering in fear. Kotetsu was also feeling panicked, he and his extremely big mouth to challenge Itachi. He broke an unwritten rule which existed since Konoha was founded; **__**"IT IS THE STUPPIDEST IDEA IN THE WORLD TO CHALLENGE AN UCHIHA!"**_

Madara was noddin in his soul-room at this solemly Hashirama once did that and well, he spent nearly two months sleeping beside Madara much to the Uchiha's amusement and annoyement and to the biggest annoyement to the Senju's little brother who seemed to have a rather BIG problem with the Uchiha leader. Ű

"_**So do you want me to continue?" Itachi asked and his little brother and the two hiding sound nins whimpered a 'no'.**_

Pain also managed to whimper out a faint "no".

"_**Of course we want to hear the story!" Anko yelled enthusiastically. She would talk to Riako tomorrow, but for now she wanted to hear the story.**_

"_**Very well then…" Itachi said while he stroke Deidara's check who had buried his face in his shoulder in fear. "Suddenly both parents heard they oldest child scream and run to his aid, but when the arrived stood there only a woman, her pearl white dress cowered with blood. The father told his wife to try and get away while he attacked the woman who was smiling at them wickedly. The woman did what she was told and begun to run away. She was still running when it begun to rain again, she slipped on the wet ground and fell. She stood up slowly; bet a she looked up her breath hitched.**_

_**There before her stood the mysterious woman in the bloody white dress, but now she also saw that her lips and chin were also blood cowered. She begun to come slowly nearer to her, the woman screamed and then her world went black. As she opened her eyes again she was in a hospital room. She told the medics what happened to her and they said that she had luck. When she asked why they told her that long years ago in that forest a young woman and her newborn child disappeared they never found her only some parts of her white dress cowered in blood. Since that day everyone who dares to go inside that forest disappears or dyes." And with that Itachi ended his story and looked grinning at Kotetsu. "So was this story now scary?" he asked in a mocking tone.**_

"_**Ye…yes…" suddenly they heard rustling from one of the bushes and something like some bones fell out of it.**_

"_**AAAAAAA!!" almost everyone screamed as they grabbed the kids and dashed inside the building. As poor Kimimaro and Tayuya heard the screams they also panicked and begun to run back home.**_

They needed nearly twenty minutes aster this to ger Pain down from the lamp so that Itachi could continue.

_**On that evening slept everyone in groups in fear and Itachi was now really kicked out of his bed, but was there in his bed beside his lover not only an annoying brat of a Puppet Master oh no…his little brother and his lover were also sleeping there. What a joy. The raven sighed heavily as he suddenly felt a little weight on his side. Opening his dark onyx eyes he was greeted by the sight of golden hair. **_

"_**Deidara?"**_

"_**I didn't want you to sleep here on the floor alone un." The blond said as he snuggled up to Itachi, wrapping a blanked over both of them.**_

"Who reads next?"

"I will." Kakuzu said after removing the threat fom Hidan's mouth, but the zaelot staied unisually quiet.

_To be continued…_


	14. Surprise

XIV. Surprise, _Strip poker and a shocking surprise…_

* * *

Kakuzu looked down at the book and arched an eyebrow.

"_**Strip poker and a shocking surprise…"**_he read and Deidara, Konan and Zetsu's white side went int o a rant about who could be such an idiot to pay such a game in front of children.

_**On the next morning went everything they normal routine well except that some were still a bit frightened.**_

"I…I ca…can perfectly u…understand…" Pain said while glaring at Itachi.

_**Unknown to them**_

Not animore said the whole Akatsuki expect for Hidan who had his lavendel eyes fixed on his partner.

_**was Orochimaru still looking confused at both Kimimaro and Tayuya who were hugging him whimpering, Kabuto managed to heal him at least as much that he could move which took so much chakra that Kabuto's whole medical staff was filling they hospital not in the position to move a muscle because of the great chakra los. They have run all the way back home without a stop and threw themselves at the Sannin. **_

"_**Erm…Kabuto what should I do now?" the snake asked his medic helplessly, who on the other hand smiled at the scene secretly.**_

"Oh for Kami's shake he had a genin train under him, he should know how to deal with kids." Sasori said while massaging his temples.

"_**I don't know Orochimaru-sama." He said.**_

"_**Calm down." Orochimaru commanded, but the two only hardened they grip.**_

"_**Kimimaro-kun, Tayuya-chan what happened." Kabuto asked the two children who looked at him with horror filled eyes.**_

"…_**e..elves…gr…green dresses…scre…screams…empty e…eyes…dro…drowned child…lady in whi…white…blood…rotting baby…screams…" stammered the two and the two older nins looked first at the children then at each other confused and then back.**_

"That will take them a while till they can get them to say even one proper sentence by that explaining." Kisame said.

_**Meanwhile by the others was everyone inside the kitchen and cleaning. **_

"_**Why does every meal end in a food war?" Kiba growled while trying to scrub something sticky up from the floor.**_

"_**We know." Deidara said sighing.**_

"_**I will go and bath the kids." Riako said and grabbed chibi Sasori who was about to kip a bucket of water over Itachi.**_

"_**I will go help you." Anko said suddenly and helped to gather the children.**_

_**After managing to get the whole group undressed and in the tub, Anko decided that it was time to clear everything.**_

"_**Riako, I'm sorry…" she said in a guilty voice.**_

"_**Hmm…" she looked at her while rubbing shampoo in the blue hair of Konan who was giggling.**_

"_**I was jealous at you because of Kisame and I…"**_

"_**You know what happened." She said and Anko looked at her wide eyed.**_

Everyone was glaring at the book.

"_**Ho…how…"**_

"_**You didn't notice one of my crows watching, but don't worry I'm not mad at you." She said. "Hizashi freaked out when I told him, and I fear that Kisame will also do the same." She said.**_

"**He already did**." Zetsu's dark side said.

"_**When did you tell him?" **_

"_**A few days ago."**_

"_**Then that would explain while he was trying to rush fully armored through Konoha, wanting to get in to Kiri and burn it down, while dragging at least forty members of the clan with him who were trying to hold him back." Anko said remembering the confusing scene.**_

"Looks like I will make soon a nice trip to Konoha." Kisame said.

"_**Yes that would." Riako said smiling. "Poor Neji, Hinata and Hanabi."**_

"_**You know the three?"**_

"_**Yes, but I could only met Hanabi-chan personally, but I was rather glad to met the other two to, most of all Neji." She said.**_

"_**Why Neji?"**_

At this Kisame started grinning while Kakuzu looked up shocked.

"Now that is new." He said.

"_**Because Hiashi asked me in a letter after Neji was born if I would be his godmother and I accepted." She said softly.**_

The Akatsuki only gapped.

"_**You mean you are Neji's godmother? Does he know?" now was Anko fully baff.**_

"_**Yes, his father told him often about me."**_

"_**Lia-neechan, Anno-neechan." Heard both women suddenly a little voice and they turned to Tobi paling and gapping suddenly. "Loon mat Tobi cam." Said the little boy without his mask on.**_

Kakuzu nearly dropped the book as he stared gapping a Tobi, eyes wide.

"Kakuzu what is wrong?" Hidan asked suddenly worried.

Said nin took a deep breat and continued.

_**Meanwhile downstairs managed Jiraiya to convince the others to a party strip poker while Kidamaru was hiding under the window and sweatdropped. That guy was really a pervert.**_

"You tell us." Pain, Konan and Itachi said in union.

_**Suddenly two rather shocked woman run in the living room, this perked his interest up. **_

"_**Anko, Riako what happened?" Deidara asked. "Is something with the others?"**_

"_**No, but….erm…do people beside the Uchiha clan members have a Sharingan?" Riako asked.**_

At this everyone looked confused.

"_**And beside Kakashi." Anko added in while others looked at them confused.**_

"_**No, and what do you mean with this question?" Sasuke asked.**_

_**Suddenly Anko rushed up in the bath and come down with Tobi wrapped in a fluffy towel and held the smiling child in front of the blackhead's face.**_

"_**SHARINGAN!!**__**" screamed everyone and the two Uchihas fainted.**_

At this everyone stared gapping at the book when Itachi fainted.

"Tobi take that mask down un…" Deidara said.

"Tobi wants to keep the mask on Senpai." Tobi said in a scared tone.

"Take it down un."

"No."

"Tobi please be a Good Boy and take it down." Zetsu's white half said softly and the boy nodded.

Everyone stared at him as he slowly pulled the orange mask down revealing long raven black hair, sharp, but still soft features, pale skin and to they confirmation crimson Sharingan eyes.

"Oookkeyy…this is frightening." Kisame said while trying together with Deidara to wake Itachi up.

_**Meanwhile used a shocked Kidomaru his radio.**_

_**In Oto was his call already awaited eagerly.**_

"_**Orochimaru-sama, Kidomaru is calling." Said Kabuto as he stepped inside with the others.**_

"_**Wonderful what does he say?"**_

"_**I will turn it louder."**_

"_**Orochimaru-sama, first of all your ex team mate is really a pervert…do I really need to spy on them all while they play strip poker?"**__** asked Kidomaru's voice whining and everyone blushed and sweatdropped.**_

"_**No you don't need to watch that. Anything other?"**_

"_**Yes both Uchihas fainted and everyone screamed Sharingan because one of the chibi tuned members seems to posses it." **__**At that Orochimaru run to the radio.**_

"_**WHAT!!"**_

"_**Which one?" Kabuto asked.**_

"_**The one with the strange mask on." **_

"_**WHAAT!!"**_

"We understand they reaction." Sasori said while Itachi was eyeing Tobi nervously who on the other hand winked at him smiling.

_**Everyone was staring shocked at the little Uchiha and sometimes down at the two brothers who were still out cold from shock. There are not many things which can send an Uchiha to the floor, but finding out that there was one other member of they family right in front of they noses and they didn't even know about, the other thing would be the all known a feared sentence;**_

Kakuzu started chuckling at this.

"Hmm…"

"_**I'm pregnant."**__**, they father nearly chocked on his tea when he was told about Itachi and then fainted and in Sasuke's case he walked against a tree, broke his nose and then fainted in front of his wife and his annoying dobe friend Minato.**_

At this the whole Akatsuki broke out laughing while Itachi started waking up slowly, yelping when he saw Tobi.

"_**I can't believe it, Tobi is an Uchiha un?" Deidara asked shocked as he kneeled on the ground, Itachi's head in his lap. **__**'Someone will be rather delirious after he wakes up un.' **_

"_**Did you really not have seen any sign of this?" Ino asked and Deidara looked at her with a strange look on his face.**_

The Akatsuki did the same.

"_**No because I have never seen and Uchiha happily chasing after butterflies, hugging others because he is happy, screaming sempai every time he sees me and contagiously saying;**__** 'Tobi is a good boy!'**__**." At that everyone sweatdropped and looked from the two out cold Uchihas at the in-to-child-turned third.**_

"_**We agree…" come the reply.**_

"We also."

_**Meanwhile in Oto was Orochimaru trying to come up with a plan to get Tobi in his hands again. Dear Kami, if he would have known that they orange masked boy was and Uchiha he would have only taken him or together with Pein. He had one Uchiha right in front of his nose and he didn't notice, but who could blame him for not noticing? **_

_**I mean that little buddle of energy always tugging after the cannibalistic plant nin and always talking about himself in third person plus the "**__**Tobi is a good boy!"**__**, that was no acting which an Uchiha would show. He knew that he saw many of them in Konoha and Itachi and Sasuke were no exceptions from the usual cold and emotionless Uchiha pattern.**_

_**Suddenly the snake like Sannin stopped in his tracks, an evil grin appearing on his lips.**_

_**He knew how he could get the child, but for this he needs to prepare and tomorrow Tobi would be his and no one would stop him. Bu he still made a mental note to not get near Itachi in the range of 200 meters, he learned this on a rather painful way that his replacement as Sasori's partner had some rather violent side to him if someone touches the clan murder, he should have learned that some blonds are stupid, some girly and some from which category he had the **__**'fortune'**__** to met could be **__**VERY **__**violent.**_

"I'm not violent un." Deidara snapped.

_**After everyone managed to calm down a bit after the shock and the two Uchiha brothers also awakened and calmed down a bit, but were still holding tightly to they lovers, Riako suggested that she would bring the chibis to they room so that they could take a nap and not bother the game after or in between they would need to give answers to some rather uncomfortable questions. She was not so fond of the poker idea and Anko had a good guess why. She didn't want to be questioned about the kunai wounds and most of all not in front of her godson who would probably react the same way as his uncle did some days before and try to stomp alone to Kiri to take revenge. It was better if Neji didn't know just yet, but Anko guessed that after Kisame is back to normal he and the two Hyuugas will go on an avenger trip.**_

"You can bet on that." Kisame said with an evil grin.

_**After Riako got all the chibis upstairs and managed to get chibi Sasori to let go of Deidara which he refused with all his power everyone settled down and so the playing begun by which it looked like as if the girls and even Deidara and Itachi had most of the good cards while the guys and Tsunade lost one letter of clothing by every play.**_

"_**This is so not fun." Growled Naruto who sat there only on his pants.**_

"_**I agree with you on this one." Ebisu said, he had the worst cards and had only his boxers on which was rather embarrassing considering that he choose today to wear his bright pink boxers with little red hearts on it.**_

"_**Itachi, how come your blond lover is so good at this and you to?" Sasuke asked his brother suspiciously who had only lost his hitai-ate, sandals and hair tie.**_

"_**Believe me after getting some experience in this game you will know how to win." The older said nonchalantly.**_

The Akatsuki nodded at this.

"_**Eh…?" was Sasuke's only response.**_

"_**Hidan always manages to convince us all to play." **_

More nods.

_**At that thought Sasuke shuddered, his brother destroyed they family and his live, he gave up every blood bound and instead found his place on the side of a group of… he didn't even know what to call them. Heck he even nearly got a heart attack when he found out yesterday by Deidara's horror story that the blond had…FREAKIN MOUTHS ON HIS HANDS…!**_

"And just what is wrong with having mouths ont he hands un?" Deidara asked annoyed.

"I'm sure Itachi doesn't mind." Pain said grinning evily as said man blushed.

"_**So guys look here and cry…" Temari said grinning as she presented her cards and a simultan growl left the guys lips.**_

"_**Nice one Temari-chan." Sakura said grinning and then threw a side glance at Hinata who was laying there out cold since some of the boys lost they shirts. They called for Riako to take her upstairs to the kids and they can keep one eye at them together then this sort of games seemed to much for the shy girl.**_

"_**I'm starting to hate this game." Kotetsu said as he pulled down his pants, he was usually good at poker, but today he lost literally his pants in the game.**_

"_**At least it can't get any worse, can it?" Izumo asked as suddenly the door opened revealing Baki and Matsuri.**_

"_**Oh yes, it can…" said Kotetsu and let his head drop.**_

"I quiet agree." Kakuzu said grinning.

"_**Kazekage-sa…WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU ALL DOING!!" the sand jonin yelled shocked and blushing, while he cowered Matsuri's eyes with a hand. No young woman should see they Kage leave alone sensei only barely clothed.**_

"_**Strip poker." Said Kankuro while glaring at his cards, damn he is going to lose his pants in the next round.**_

"_**What?" Matsuri asked blushing as she pulled Baki's hand of her eyes. "Can I join in?" at that her sensei already got a skin colour matching his hair and his siblings looked grinning at him, Baki on the other hand gapped in shock.**_

"_**Oh no you don't young lady only over my corpse." Baki said as he put two arms on her shoulders sighing. '**__**Children nowadays, and beside that your father would kill me if he knew about this'. **__**He thought, the girl's father was a good friend of his and an extremely skilled medic, he was not dumb to try out how a chakra scalpel feels like.**_

"_**What are yow two doing here actually?" Temari asked while giving the disappointed looking girl a warm smile who immediately returned it. She liked Matsuri and considered her as something like a little sister and she found her little brother's face priceless when he was told that he would have a pupil, but in her option was Matsuri the best thing which could happen to Gaara.**_

"_**I was worried about you threes whereabouts and Shizune told me that you are here, but she didn't tell me WHAT you are doing here." Baki said still sounding a bit startled.**_

"_**Oh." Come the reply from his three ex-pupils.**_

"_**She also told us that we should tell you that the power of the jutsu should wear out tomorrow sometime." Matsuri gave in smiling which seemed to perk everyone up.**_

"_**Wonderful, then I can start making firewood out of our dear Sasori tomorrow." Itachi said to himself with a wicked smile on his lips while rubbing his hands together making everyone crawl a bit farther away from him.**_

"That smile is actually cute…" mumbled Deidara, but Itachi still heard.

"_**I just love this side on him; he is so cute and devilious when he is like that." Deidara said with little stars and black hearts around him while everyone sweatdropped at the two Akatsuki members behaviour.**_

"_**I think your brother found his dream guy." Shikamaru whispered to Sasuke after looking at the still-in-dream-land-blond and the revenge-plotting-blackhead.**_

"_**I know…my brother likes blond guys…with…ugh…mouths on they hands…our father would probably have a nervous breakdown if he would be still alive and mother would probably only smile and be happy that Itachi found someone." he whispered back while massaging the brick of his nose, a headache was nearing.**_

"_**Really wow, so that is why you screamed like a little girl and jumped in your brother's lap in panic after he touched your face while telling his ghost story last night?" Shikamaru asked shuddering a bit himself, but deciding that he was not allowed to judge others tasts.**_

"Again, what is wrog with my mouths un?"

"Nothing Deidara." Konan said softly.

"_**Yes, you would scream to when someone puts a hand on your face and suddenly you feel a tongue lick over your check. And I can just imagine for what those two use those hands." **_

"SASUKE!" Itachi yelled while blushing, the others meanwhile went also red at the mental images.

_**Sasuke said while glaring at his brother and his lover who were still far away in they own little words, Shikamaru only blushed and tried to get the mental images out of his head, damn teenage hormones. But both he still needed to admit that Itachi and Deidara were both like night and day so they finding together was interesting in a way, light and darkness which together give harmony, what a strange thought.**_

There was a little silence at this before Kakuzu continued.

"_**By the way what sort of jutsu was she talking about?" Baki asked while everyone got dressed again much to the man's relaxing. Suddenly Itachi jumped to his side in the exact moment when poisoned needles hit the ground.**_

_**Everyone's eyes widened and looked to the door Baki turned also and his jaw fell at that what he saw there. He really hopped that he was only dreaming this then if yes someone should wake him up NOW!**_

"No me again…" Sasori whined.

"_**Sasori-kun, it is not nice from a three years old to attack someone with poisoned needles and the Sodaime Kazekage is not a toy, but a dangerous weapon." Riako said suddenly appearing behind the maliciously grinning redhead and picked the wiggling child up. "So now where is that scroll, ah here." She said as she opened a scroll and the puppet returned to his place.**_

"Ah some Sand-ninja are now in a rather big denial phase." Kakuzu said ina n amused tone.

"_**The….the thi…third Ka…Kazekage….a…and…Aka…Akasuna no Sasori…" and with that Baki fainted. He was getting to old for so much shocks on one day and most of all following after each other so shortly.**_

"Then try spending a day here." Pain commented.

"_**The third Kazekage…." The other sand shinobi were also shocked by this to see Sunagakure's strongest shinobi who disappeared years ago and was never found again as a puppet created by the great Puppet Master Akasuna no Sasori the Red Scorpion himself.**_

"Nice that I'm still known." Sasori said.

"_**Yep he is one of Sasori no Danna's favourite works, he told me that he likes him also the best mostly because he was so hard to kill. Would you like to know how he makes puppets out of humans?" Deidara asked and everyone paled.**_

"_**Well nice try Sasori, but sometime tomorrow you will be sorry for everything and wish that you would be dead…" Itachi said to the redhead as he stood now in front of Riako. Sasori only growled at him and tightened his hold on the woman's shirt and leaned closer to her.**_

Sasori glumped, but noticed again that Kisame was looking at him.

"_**We will go back u…" suddenly run a little naked Pein past them in the living room laughing happily. "Kisame never wrote me about your Leader having exhibitionistic expression forms…" she said while staring after the naked child, Sasori still clinging to her as if fearing to be put down on the ground.**_

"_**Believe us we didn't now either." Itachi said as everyone begun to chase after the naked chibi to get him upstairs and dressed.**_

"I DON'T HAVE EXHIBITIONISTIC URGES!" Pain screamed while blushing.

_**Baki was slowly waking up from his shock faint as suddenly a naked child jumped over his stomach, but then his eyes widened in panic as he saw almost everyone run **__**AFTER **__**the child and stamped over him. Poor Baki laid now twitching on the floor with Matsuri standing over him and looking down at him worriedly asking if "he was ok", it was really a bad idea to get out of his comfy bed and most of all teen proof room. He was really getting to old for all this chaos.**_

_**After catching the boy Riako brought both upstairs together with a still embarrassed looking Hinata leaving the others to explain everything to the two newcomers and to apologise by Baki for using him as a carpet.**_

"So this chapter is over who reads next?" Kakuzu asked.

"I would like to read." Konan said smiling as she took the book.

_To be continued… _


	15. Jaelousy

A/N: well this fic is soon over so thanks to everyone who has read the story I hope that you all liked the fic…

XV. Jaelousy, _Finally normal again…_

* * *

Konan smiled as she looked down at the title.

"It seems as if this would be the fore last chapter." She said before reading the title out loud to everyone. "_**Finally normal again…**__"_

"That is at least somewhat calming to know." Sasori said feeling uneasy with the strange gazes both Itachi and Kisame were giving him.

_**After getting the two chibis in the room Pein immediately fell asleep again after snuggling up to Konan, Sasori on the other hand sat on his bed and looked annoyed. **_

"_**Riako-san,…I…I will go…a…and get us…so…some tea." Hinata said.**_

"_**That would be really nice of you Hinata-chan." Riako said smiling as she watched the young woman leave,**_

Konan smiled softly before countinuing, but ont he inside she started giggling.

_**after she went out of the door Riako turned to Sasori and kneeled down in front of him. "Sasori listen Kisame told me some facts about you all and so he also told me that your parents were killed when you were rather young and that your grandmother raised you. I know that it was probably hard and so you don't know how to deal with changing bonds. Deidara is rather precious for you and you don't want to share him with Itachi, but if you don't then you will lose him fully." She said and at that Sasori's eyes widened. "Sasori, Deidara still likes you. You are his Danna and will it be for eternity. Trust me." Suddenly she felt two little arms wrap around her neck carefully and weight pressed against her chest.**_

_**Sasori slipped from the bed and hugged her. **_

Sasori was now sure that Kisame was sending him death glares, but he really didn't know why he didn't even know that woman thought she sounded like an interesting person.

_**Riako smiled softly at him and returned the embrace. After some minutes she stood up and put him under the cowers carefully. She was about to walk over to the door to go downstairs to see how the others were doing when she heard a faint voice from behind her.**_

"_**Dmme go…" the young woman turned around to look in to Sasori's pleading ones.**_

"_**Don't worry, I will not go." She said and the little redhead closed his eyes smiling.**_

Konan smiled suddenly knowingly as she read over the next part.

"Awww…" she coed making Sasori nervous, he had a strange feeling.

_**On that evening bid everyone they farewells and Anko told them that she would drop in tomorrow to see if everyone was back to normal again. After giving the whole group a bath and putting to bed all three went sleeping. **_

"_**Itachi un." Deidara whispered to the man sleeping beside him.**_

"_**What is it Deidara, I want to sleep…" the Uchiha nused still half asleep.**_

"_**Sasori no Danna didn't come in the room jet un." The blond said.**_

"_**Deidara…"**_

"_**Yes un?" suddenly a little squeak left his lips as suddenly two strong arms wrapped around him and two soft lips touched his as he was pushed back on the bed.**_

"_**Sleep now." Itachi said to the blushing blond.**_

_**Meanwhile was little Sasori walking through the dark hallway, but this time not in the direction of Itachi's room, but to that of a certain fellow artist's. After some minutes found the redhead he room and walked inside. **_

_**Riako immediately woke up to the sound of her bedroom door opening. Tuning h lamp on her nightstand up she noticed the intruder. A soft smile appeared on her pale lips when she noticed just who it was.**_

Sasori paled as he heard a low growl come from Kisame, but the others didn't notice.

"_**Sasori-kun, shouldn't you be asleep now?" she asked the child who run over to her bed. "Ah I see." She said sighing and put the child on the bed beside her. "You want to sleep here?"**_

"_**Mai." He said nodding.**_

"_**Hmm…alright you can stay here." Sasori begun smiling and crawled under the warm cowers.**_

_**Riako smiled a bit and lay down beside him. After some minutes she begun to hum an old lullaby which her grandmother and also her mother used to sing to her at nights.**_

"I know that song." Kisame said as he threw a new glare at Sasori.

Konan cleared her throath to sing.

"_**The night is dark and frightening,**_

_**Everything is cowered in a deep black cape. **_

_**Don't be afraid little child, **_

_**There is nothing to fear as long as I'm here. **_

_**Look up at the night sky, **_

_**Look at the sparkling stars a bow us.**_

_**They hold so many secrets and sparkle like diamonds. **_

_**Little child, do you know the tale**_

_**That once the stars walked under us on earth?**_

_**They say if we go we will become stars to.**_

_**The night is dark and frightening, **_

_**Everything is cowered in a deep black cape. **_

_**Don't be afraid little child, **_

_**There is nothing to fear as long as I'm here. **_

_**Sasori snuggled closer to her and yawned tiredly as his eyes slowly closed and he fell asleep.**_

_**May the storms race over the world, **_

_**May you be surrounded by cold darkness**_

_**Don't fear then I will be on your side.**_

_**Don't fear my child then I will be there for you,**_

_**Take your hand in mine,**_

_**Turn the darkness in to light. **_

_**Sleep now my little child,**_

_**Pleasant dreams are awaiting you.**_

_**Sleep now my little child,**_

_**Don't fear the night then I will be here, **_

_**to guide you through the night.**_

_**The night is dark and frightening, **_

_**Everything is cowered in a deep black cape. **_

_**Don't be afraid little child, **_

_**There is nothing to fear as long as I'm here. **_

_**I will stay on your side till dawn breaks in, **_

_**Letting the night turn in to day…" **_

_**A sad smile crossed her lips as the song ended.**_

"_**Good night Sasori-kun" she whispered and gave the child a kiss on the forehead and fell asleep herself.**_

The other Akas all clapped.

"Ah there is an other one." She said smiling, she really liked singing.

_**On the next morning after feeding everyone was Deidara standing in the kitchen and listening to his mp3 player while doing the dishes he slowly begun singing together with the next song. **_

_**Hitorikiri kurayami no naka  
Kimi no namida no imi wo shitta  
Negau basho fumi dashi takedo  
Daremo kizutsuketaku nakute **_

_**Umi wo wataru kaze wa kyou mo  
Mayowazu ni ashita ni mukau no ni  
Kokoro wa doushite ugoki dase nai**_

_**Donna unmei ga matte irun darou  
Kuya mitaku nai yo umareta koto  
Kanashimi no naka ni yuuki ga aru  
Kagayaki tsukamu to shinjite iru**_

_**Furi shikiru aozora no namida  
Itsu no hi ka egao ni kaeru yo**_

_**Itachi who was passing the kitchen heard his lover singing and leaned against the door frame, listening to the somewhat feminine like voice.**_

_**Deidara didn't even seem to have noticed that he had got audience.**_

_**Isogi ashi oikaketa kaze  
Yubi no aida wo surinuketeku  
Shinjiru koto mada kowai kedo  
Todomaru koto wa mou shinai **_

_**Tsuki ga sotto kata wo tataki  
Minamo utsushitekureta kiiromichi  
Mayou koto sae wasurete yuku yo**_

_**Nanimo nai asu ga matte itemo  
Nanika wo umidasu te ga aru kara  
Kimerareta michi mo kaeteyukeru  
Tsuyoi omoi ima komi ageteru**_

_**Koboreteta aozora no namida  
Ashita ni wa kitto hareru kara**_

_**Miageta saki he to  
Aruki daseru hazu  
Dokomademo yukeru  
Jibun naku sa nai nara**_

_**Deidara was fully wrapped up in his song and Itachi decided that he liked the blonde's singing voice, but there was actually nothing on the blond which he didn't like.**_

_**Donna unmei ga matte irun darou  
Kuya mitaku nai yo umareta koto  
Kanashimi no naka ni yuuki ga aru  
Kagayaki tsukamu to shinjite iru **_

_**Furi shikiru aozora no namida  
Itsu no hi ka egao ni kaeru yo…**_

_**As the song ended let Deidara a little startled yelp out a suddenly two strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist.**_

"_**Never knew you could sing so sensually admire full." Itachi purred in Deidara's ear who shivered at the feeling.**_

"_**Itachi, stop that un. Yo…you know that…Danna will attack yo…you again if h sees us." The blond artist managed to get out.**_

"_**Don't worry you two the whole group is sleeping peacefully in the living room." Riako said from her place by the door frame.**_

"_**Thanks Riako, uhm…where are you going un?" Dei asked as he noticed the bag on the young woman's shoulder.**_

"_**I'm going in the garden painting a bit." And with that she walked away, leaving the two lovers alone again.**_

"_**Hmm…the others are still not back to normal so what do you think, should we go on the roof and enjoy our last peaceful moments together before I go on a rampage to kill your Danna?" Itachi asked while chewing on the artist's neck which earned him a moan from the blond.**_

"_**Ye…yes…" he said and was prompt swept from his feet right in Itachi's arms who begun to walk with him upstairs bridal style.**_

"And exactly _how _are we sleeping on the couch?" asked Kakuzu.

_**Both were sitting on the roof in each others arms, enjoying the others closeness and listening to the others soft heartbeat. **_

"_**I was thinking un." Deidara said suddenly, breaking the silence surrounding them.**_

"_**About what?"**_

"_**About what the girls said."**_

"_**And what did they say."**_

"_**That if you don't look at the fact that we are assassins, nuke-nins and are trying to capture all Bijuu, someone would think we are only a group of friends living together."**_

"_**Isn't that so?"**_

"_**Yes in a way, but on the other hand it is like as if we would be also each others family. So I want to thank you for taking me with you in this family where I finally wasn't alone." Deidara said as he snuggled closer to Itachi who on the other hand wrapped his arms stronger around the other male.**_

Itachi suddenly noticed Deidara's gaze on him and the blonde gave him a thankfull smile which made the raven blush.

"_**And you will never be alone ever again, you have my word…" Itachi whispered as he pulled Dei's chin up and cowered his lips with his own lips. The sweet kiss was then suddenly broken by loud screams from downstairs.**_

"_**Looks like we are all back." Konan said giggling at the **__**coming sentences. **_

"_**AAAAAAA!!" **_

"_**WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU BASTARD DOING! FUCKING RAPIST HEATHEN!!" **_

"_**STOP BICHING AND IT WAS YOU WHO SNUGLED UP TO ME AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND." **_

"_**WHY THE HECK AM I WEARING A DIPER?" **_

"_**They are back to normal again." The two lovers said in union while looking at each other, then Itachi stood up.**_

"_**I'm of killing your partner." He said and gave the blond a kiss on the forehead.**_

_**Deidara sat there for a five minutes and listened to the sounds blow.**_

"_**Hallo Itachi-san." **_

"_**Itachi what happened and why is Kisame wearing a dipper and…why have you your Sharingan activated and are grinning?" **_

"_**Later Leader-sama, and Tobi we will need to talk to about how you have a Sharingan." **_

"_**TOBI HAS A WHAT!!"**_

"_**MY FAVORITE SACRAFICE IS AN FREAKING UCHIHA!!" **_

"_**Itachi-san…" **_

"_**Don't worry Tobi, I'm not mad and now…oh Sasori-chan…" **_

Sasori shuddered.

"_**What do you want Itachi?"**_

"_**You will see it soon Katon Housenka no jutsu!" **_

"_**ITACHI DID YOU GO NUTS?"**_

"_**That was for squishing shampoo in my eyes. Katon Housenka no jutsu, Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu and that for the two times you kicked that damned ball on a rather painful place." **_

"_**ITACHI STOP DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS ALL WILL COST!!"**__** 'thump' **_

"_**And you say that I have hissy fits? Ah and great work Itachi, now Kakuzu will need three new hearts after he is conductions again." **_

"_**Itachi I DIDN'T do any of those things."**_

"Sounds like any normal day in this family." Pain commented.

_**Deidara sighed as he also stood up and walked downstairs. In the living room was everyone hiding from Itachi's jutsus while Sasori was desperately trying to protect his live and as he saw his partner he suddenly ducked behind him.**_

"_**Deidara run for your live Itachi went crazy!" Hidan yelled, but was suddenly confused when the blond begun to laugh.**_

"_**The last time I checked was Itachi perfectly sane." The blond said as he walked up to the Uchiha and wrapped his arms around his neck, the other did the same by his waist. The others only stared gapping at the two except Konan who smiled at them.**_

"_**What the heck happened here?" Hidan asked confused.**_

"_**Ah, so everyone is normal again as I see and the living room trashed." **_

"She has a rather interesting humor." Kisame commented as everyone was staring at him.

_**Everyone turned to the door to see a young woman standing there, pale hands on her lips.**_

"_**RIAKO!!" Kisame yelled happily as he run up to the kounichi and swept her in his arms, hugging the young woman.**_

"_**Nice to see you back to normal Sharky." She said.**_

"_**Erm…back to normal?"**_

"_**Kisame…" come the Leader's voice.**_

"_**Oh right so everyone this is Riako a good friend of mine, I think I forgot to tell you all that I invited her to visit us." The shark like nin said while rubbing the back of his head.**_

"_**It is nice to met you, I'm Konan." The blue haired woman stood already in front of her smiling. Everyone could see that she was happy to suddenly have female company.**_

"_**Nice to met you in a normal form." Suddenly the door opened and Anko stepped inside.**_

"_**Yo. Wow everyone is an adult again as I see." She said still grinning.**_

"Sounds like as if your girlfriend arrived." Itachi whispered to a blushing Kisame, now was it someone other's turn to b e tormented with such things.

"_**What is a Konoha kounichi doing here?"**_

"_**Calm down Pein-kun. Hey Itachi, Deidara I brought the videos and the photos, everyone of us has already they copies."**_

At this the Akatsuki members stared gapping at the book.

"_**Oh great un."**_

"_**Oh and the one with the stars on it the tape about when you trashed Orochimaru." At that looked now the whole Akatsuki confused. When was Orochimaru then there? And as if on cue they suddenly heard Tobi squeak frightened.**_

"_**Now I have you Tobi." Orochimaru said grinning, but then he suddenly noticed that everyone was back to they actual ages again. "Damn." Then he felt suddenly an in a way familiar dark aura behind him. Turning around he sweatdropped as he received a death glare from Zetsu who was clenching his fist.**_

"_**GET YOUR FILTHY HA**__**NDS OF OFF TOBI." Zetsu said in a dark voice and launched himself at the snake like nin. At that Anko suddenly grabbed her camera and begun taping it.**_

"_**Wow, I absolutely love you guys." She said grinning.**_

Tobi smiled at this and hugged Zetsu who started blushing.

_**After poor Orochimaru was thrown again outside and Zetsu calmed Tobi, Anko decided to show the Akatsuki some of the happenings which occurred in the past days. So was now everyone sitting on the couch wide eyed and Pein was trying to sink as deep in the couch as possible, his face redder as the Sharingan. **_

_**On the screen at the moment was chibi Pein playing happily Tarzan, fully naked.**_

"_**I think it was rather cute." Anko said grinning. "Oh here comes my fav part when Kakuzu threw my ex-sensei through the door because he dared to scare Hidan." Anko said as said scenes occurred and both as Kisame likes to call them Zombie Twins blushed at that hat they saw on the screen.**_

"We hate that nick name…" both Zombie Twins growled.

_**After watching like four videos and feeling humiliated for live. Most of all Kisame after getting to know that Itachi needed to change his dippers was said shark like nin suddenly grabbed by the arm by the violet haired kounichi. **_

"_**Ok, if it doesn't disturb anyone I will go now with my ex-babysitting-charge on a nice walk and eating." She said while dragging a confused Kisame with her who looked pleading and confused at the others.**_

"_**Have fun Kisame and you to Anko." Riako said.**_

"That girl is desperate." Pain commented wistling.

"_**We will go put the photos in the album." Deidara said as he grabbed both the photos and Itachi. "Oh by the way Sasori no Danna you should go to Riako's room she is also a fellow artist and she has some incredible paintings and drawings when you look at them you really get the feeling that they live." And with that were both out of the room.**_

"_**You are an artist?" Sasori asked while looking at the young woman.**_

"_**Yes I'm."**_

"_**Hmm…I would like to see some of your works, there are not many artists around who are also shinobi." He said.**_

"_**That is true." And so both begun to walk upstairs while a still embarrassed Pein was lead away by Konan and was mumbling something about "**__**I really need to make a reservation with that psychiatrist…". **__**Zetsu and Tobi also walked away to get somewhere comfy with each other and talk about who he really is.**_

_**That only left a still bet red Kakuzu and Hidan sitting as far away from each other as the couch let them. What the heck happened with them as they were kids again.**_

"Something shocking."

_**Meanwhile in Konoha… **_

"_**Sasuke, I need to tell you something…"**_

"_**What is it Sakura?"**_

"_**Well I'm…"**_

_**YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!**_

"So who reads the last chapter?" Konan asked the others.

"I will." Hidan said suddenly.

"Uhm…ok." She answered.

_To be continued…_

* * *

A/N: and now let's start with the last chapter of the fic…


	16. Finally ready

A/N: and now it is time for the last chap…

XVI. Finally ready, _Epilogue: New arrival, new chaos_

* * *

Hidan looked down at the last chapter and started grinning.

"_**Epilogue: New arrival, new chaos" **_he read.

_**Nine months after the Akatsuki was back to normal went everyone to Konohagakure to be present on a rather important occasion. **_

_**The Konoha hospital was filled with excitement caused by a group which was nervously fidgeting in the waiting room listening to the blood curling screams and colorful curses. Most of the screams were female like, but they actually belonged to a certain **_

"Ha, ha this is now really fucking priceless hey Diva looks like you will become an uncle." Hidan said grinning.

"What!"

_**young Uchiha while the cursing which made even a certain white haired Jashinist blush and now that meant something, belonged to a certain pink haired kounichi.**_

"_**I could have warned him that a birth is not only for the future-mother painful." Itachi said while pacing around in circles like most of the other males.**_

"_**How would you know?" Kiba asked while petting Akamaru on the head.**_

"_**I was at home by Sasuke's birth and believe me I really thought that when my father was screaming in agony that it was my mother." The older Uchiha said.**_

"I really did." Itachi muttered.

"_**Wow, interesting to know." Come it from Kankuro who was at the moment in a rather interesting conversation with Sasori about puppets.**_

"_**Wow I would have loved to see that." Anko said while **_

"Okey, who else is getting hooked up in this story?" Hidan asked and Kisame went bet red again.

_**leaning her back against Kisame. The two of them would have they eight months anniversary in a week.**_

_**They got together after a five out goings together managed Kisame to get over his confusion and fears, well mostly after Itachi and Deidara dragged him with force in Itachi's room and had a long talk with him, he finally managed to ask her if she wants to become his girlfriend and she said yes**_

"Congratulations Kisame." Konan said smiling.

_**sending Kotetsu, Izumo, Kakashi, Gay, Asuma, Yamato and Ebisu right to the floor. Well by the Akatsuki was Hidan the one who nearly chocked on his tea by the news presented from Kisame.**_

_**Also Konan and Pein got finally also together and the Leader was now officially visiting a psychiatrist in Konoha and was also dragging the whole organization with himself for solo sittings, group sittings and family therapy for the three Uchihas. The poor man was sometimes on the verge of a nervous break down from the things he heard or happened and sometimes really feared to say even a word to is patients.**_

"I understand him…" Pain mumbled.

"Aww…" Konan said.

_**Sasori was also starting to develop strong feelings for a certain co artist even if he had the problems to have Kisame, Hiashi and Neji on his heels who didn't want to let the redhead go with the young woman anywhere alone. It was frustrating, but Akasuna no Sasori was never the type to give up easily on things he wanted.**_

Sasori groaned inwardly, he will be killed by an Uchiha, an angered swordsman and two Hyuugas.

_**Suddenly the cry of a baby brought everyone's movements to a halt and let them turn to the door. The white door opened and a smiling Tsunade stepped outside.**_

"_**Everyone is fine." She said and was nearly run over by the others who run excited in the room.**_

_**In the homely decorated private hospital room stood two beds, in one of them laid Sakura holding a little black haired child in her arms, smiling warmly at the child. On the other bed laid a still hallfly unconscious and with pain killers full pushed Sasuke whose arm was still being healed by Shizune and Kabuto. It looked like as if she had nearly pulverized his bones.**_

Everyone flinched at this.

"_**Well little brother I warned you that hand holding would be a rather painful experience." Itachi said grinning as he turned to Sakura smiling. "Congratulations Sakura."**_

"_**Nice to see that you are so happy about your nephew, but your nice will probably also want attention." Tsunade said smiling and watched everyone begin gapping when Hinata walked inside with a little pink haired girl in her arms.**_

"_**Wow twins." Said Ino with sparkling eyes and Shikamaru had suddenly a bad feeling in his stomach.**_

"You should be." The male Akas said grinning.

"_**By the way Tsunade-sama what conclusion did you come to about my question from for two days un?" Deidara asked and almost everyone stared confused at him.**_

"_**Hmm…I don't know if it will go alright, but considering that Riako will be there to help and if some chakra problems should occur you have Kisame there for help. And to be honest I'm also rather curious about this jutsu and his workings so I agree." She said.**_

Kisame suddenly started gapping.

_**At that Deidara begun jumping up and down happily, then he kissed Itachi one time then run up to Riako, who was now helping to heal Sasuke's wounds.**_

"_**Riako, did you hear it un." The blond said delighted.**_

"_**Yes, I have heard her Deidara so we can start in two days when everything is ready for the kids and everything other has settled." Riako said calmly.**_

"_**Ok."**_

"_**Erm…what are you three talking about?" Hidan asked confused.**_

"_**Itachi and I will soon have a baby together." Deidara said happily, but stopped when he suddenly heard several 'thump' noises. Opening his eyes he sweatdropped then most of the males well except Kisame and he himself laid on the ground in a death faint.**_

"I knew it." Kisame groaned as the others stared gapping at the book.

"What did you know?"

"Well you see Ria's creations jutsu can also work in a way that a male person can also get pregnant." Kisame explained and both Itachi and Deidara fainted.

"_**Why am I not surprised?" Kisame asked himself out loud and looked over at his grinning friend. '**__**She loves to mess around with others minds…'**_

"_**Erm…Itachi…" Deidara sai while looking at the out cold man on the floor.**_

"_**Don't worry Dei, you will see him in this pose rather often, mostly by the scanning which will tell you the babies gender or when you say "**__**The water broke"**__** right after they realize just what you meant by that."**_

_**Sakura was in that right Sasuke immediately fainted when he found out that he would have twins and one is a girl. He also fainted when Sakura told him that it was time so Itachi was in charge for everything.**_

_**Well everything seemed to be back to normal again…**_

_**Owari**_

"So this was the end of the story." Konan said smiling.

"Tobi liked the story." Tobi said smiling, but suddenly went silent. "Thought I would have prefered to hear the mature parts and not lip reading them." He said with a suddenly much deeper voice making the whole Akatsuki pale.

"Erm…To…Tobi…?" Kisame asked.

"I prefer Madara Uchiha better." He said grinning as the other Akatsuki members stared at him in panic before fainting.

_Owari _


End file.
